History of Me 1978-2010

5 01 2014

Everyone seems to be writing these, year summary blogs (or letters, like Emily).  I know I haven’t really posted or blogged in ages.. and I may ore may not actually finish this and explain.

So Just this past year seems like not enough.. so I I’ve feeling nostalgic and am going to do something more silly.

My life in summary!

321074_10150328165758425_1018715296_n1978- I was born, I’m pretty sure the world stopped for a second because I’m so awesome!

1979-1997 – Lived in Smithers, it’s a boring story.  My grandmother passed away.  We moved into town.  A few years later my Grandpa passed away.  Went to France on a school trip, I always wonder if this was the beginning of the end. 303803_10150328166543425_714939757_n Met my little brother and dad’s side of the family. I graduated from high school, started working at my mom’s company (Newpro), got laid off  and on the same day received a uni acceptance letter.  Applied for loans and off I went.

294756_10150328172083425_1119687750_n1997-2001 – Moved to Prince George, BC, went to UNBC.  Partied, studied, and all that good uni stuff.  Made lots of new friends, had ups, had downs.  Ended contact with my dad.  Dated, ended up with Erik which while the relationship was terrible and we should have ended it when I originally.  It was a pivotal factor in the rest of my life.  Tracey moved to Japan on Jet. At the end of school, had a conversation with my friend Mike Yeh where he suggested I love to Taiwan.  I scoffed.  I broke up with Erik, and suddenly realized why the hell not?

2001-2002 – moved home to stay with mom (saving money before the move), made plans to hang out in Thailand for almost 2 months.  Got a passport, all my visas, and finally on a jet plane. Arrived in Bangkok on December 7, 2001.  Exited the plane to be hit by a wall of hot wet air.  Travelled around Thailand with Tracey, we took sleeper trains, busses, boats, planes, stayed in hotels, hostels.  Went diving, got certified with PADI.  I got some weird unexplained sickness, hallucinated my way around a tiny town (because I dipped and Tracey was frantic trying to figure out how to fine me) in the south and Tracy found me chatting with dogs, sorry about that.  Went back to Bangkok, Tracey went back to Japan and I headed to Taipei. Cue next chapter.

400966_10150477776398425_1432733508_n2002 – Jan 12, 2002 I arrived in Taipei city in Taiwan.  I always said that I planned to stay for at least 5 years, I wanted to stick it out, make money, learn a language, and a new culture (all part of Mike’s sales pitch).  I did say that if I was still here after 10 years, that I had to move home to see if I was really wanting to stay or if I was just scared to move.  Moved into my first apartment in Taipei it was hideous.

2002-2005 – Travelled to Japan to visit Tracey in March 2002.  Travelled to Thailand a few times.  Tracey came to Taipei to visit.  Went back to Canada, a couple of times to visit the family.  By being snotty, I offended Sammi, made myself less than popular and was blissfully ignorant of what I had done. Got my first passport abroad (was actually my third passport) the guarantor was an interesting challenge. Moved to a much better but more expensive place, when our landlord sold out place my friend Sarah and I got the place I’m in now and furnished it.

196133_17606138424_5039_n2005-2009- Taiwan changed the APRC requirement from 7 years to 5 years, right about my 5-6 year mark, no I didn’t apply. Tracey moved back to Taiwan after her south American back packing trip. Met and fell in love with my ex, who was married and bipolar, that was a ride that went on for a while (on and off for years). Went to Thailand again in 2006.  Moved to Brazil for 5-6 months with Tracey  in the fall of 2006.  We lived in Sao Paulo for a while, travelled around and spent the last month (2?) travelling around, drinking, partying and beaching.  oh I miss it.  Went on a visa run to Argentina, accidentally and illegally went to Paraguay. Moved back to Taipei in The spring of 2007. 208354_18145513424_5463_nWent to Hong Kong for the first time with Tracey and Melissa for my birthday, stayed at Mike’s place.  What a crazy weekend! Also went to Disney Land (even though it was micro Disney) for the first time. Went to the USA for the first time ever 🙂 in 2007.  226920_21520463424_8954_nWent to Boracay (a beach holiday destination in the Philippines) with a big group of friends, that was a wild and great time. Went to the states again in 2008, still with on again off again ex.  Made peace with my soon to be sister. Got back in touch with my little brother.

26383_334470878424_8030386_n2009-2010 – Went to Thailand for Jody and Kai’s wedding, and I almost missed my flight.  It was the last hurrah for our circle, Tracey moved back to Canada, Melissa stayed in Thailand and then moved back to Canada. Had a big trip to Canada, went to Toronto and Niagra falls for the first time, actually the first time I’ve ever been east of Alberta.  Got over my ex and let all that go, finally.  Ended up having a great bonding moment with Sammi and we adopted each other <3. I went to Hong Kong to Visit Gabby twice.  Raygan moved to Japan, and I went to Japan to visit.  Got my finances under control and it seemed like I might actually be able to get out of debt.

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It’s so obvious that you’re an only child

8 04 2012

You totally have only child syndrome. Why? Why is it obvious?  Actually, I have a brother and a couple of sisters, though I wasn’t raised with them.  I’ve always thought that this psychoanalysis of my personality was annoying and rude, but I never really bothered to look into it.  Well now I find it even more obnoxious, because neither have any of the people who fucking say it to me clearly.  It’s just something that they think they know about but clearly are just spouting out of their asses.  Making assumptions based on my personality traits, in no way taking into consideration my upbringing or family.

Sure I exhibit some of the traits of an only child, I was raised alone.. but at the same time in crucial points in my development I was living with other kids, my cousins for example.

 

So what has gotten bug in my ass about this now?  It’s not like people are coming up to me right now and making these asinine statements or at least not with any kind of regularity.  Well for one, I work with kids of all ages and have for about 10 years, so I’m going to go right ahead and say I feel pretty confident of the insight into kids behavior I have acquired over the years.  And plus, I’m part time living with a 2 year old ( not the most charming of creatures most of the time) who is an only child, and a wee bit spoiled (mom and grandma dote ).  Of course you have to factor in that he is only two… and some of that ‘charm’ is just the delights of the age… and truth be told, over all he’s a pretty nice kid.

 

So on to only children… I took this from an article online “Many of the negative attitudes towards only children are based on the following view that only children are:

  • Over indulged
  • Require constant attention
  • Are selfish – and put their needs first
  • Expect their needs to be instantly gratified
  • Fear independence and leaving home
  • Can’t empathize with others as their world revolves around themselves – in psychological terms narcissistic.

 

The Only Children I’ve known have all pretty much matched the clichés about children who had no siblings. Spoiled, bratty, self-centred, selfish, an odd sense of entitlement, difficult to get along with plus a tendency to say inappropriate things that are rude and ill-mannered. Yet being extremely hyper-sensitive and brittle about even the most remotely critical remark going in their direction.

 

Seriously… and people refer to me as having only child syndrome.. have they met me?

 

Over indulged… hardly, I learned from a young age that you can’t have everything because you can’t afford it.  I earned my own money even as a little kid, I never had an allowance, I was paid for specific tasks that were my jobs.  I didn’t work, I didn’t get shit.

 

Require constant attention… ok.. well you’ve got me there I am an attention whore.. but so is my sister and my nephew, neither of whom were raised as only children… I’m calling in genetics and the common demominator here… Hell even if mom claims it skipped her.. My grandma.. champion attention whore.. my aunt, my uncle.. terrible.. a thousand times worse than me … none of them only children.  So I’m going to have to call that a family trait.

 

Selfish… sure .. now.  I’ve been working on being selfish and taking care of myself first for years, and I still kind of suck at it.  I care about my people, and I would go to the moon and back to help them if I could.  I wrote a huge email to a friend of mine about learning to be selfish as an armor, a way to protect yourself from the hurts because no one else is going to look out for you, not before themselves.  So.. going to say no there too.

 

Expect their needs instantly gratified… ok sure.  But, lol honestly? In this day and age.. you show me someone that doesn’t apply to and I’ll show you a Tibetan monk or something of the like.  EVERYONE these days is ridiculous about the instant gratification…. Think it doesn’t apply to you? When did you last check, your facebook/email/phone for replies to things …. Mmmmhmmm that’s what I thought.  I don’t even know that it’s all that bad.. I mean especially for those of is overseas…. Facebook and the like are how we keep in touch and connected to those far away from us.  (speaking from recent experience, I never realized how hard it is being so far from family and friends when you can’t easily contact them).

 

Fear independence and leaving home… I’m just going to shake my head and chuckle here.

 

Can’t empathize with others… right.  Common complaint about me.. oh wait no.  Meanwhile I’m all teary bc people around me are sad or stressed, but I lack empathy.. eye roll.  I wish (sometimes)

 

I will admit my feelings are pretty easily hurt and it might be a symptom of being an only child, but I personally think it has more to do with the peer abuse I took all through my school years.  That left some ugly scars that still come out to bite me from time to time even today.

 

Interestingly, another thing I read said ”  “People articulate that only children are spoiled, they’re aggressive, they’re bossy, they’re lonely, they’re maladjusted,” she said. “There have been hundreds and hundreds of research studies that show that only children are no different from their peers.”[8] Similarly, a popular belief is held that only children have aversive social skills, and therefore a harder time making friends. Based on a 2004 study of American middle and high school students, such beliefs were confirmed false.”

 

NAH…. Take that.

 

The thing that really got my goat, was that the one thing that most people use as their clinching proof that I am maladjusted because I was raised as an only child.  Is never mentioned, in any of the studies or articles I read (ok some I just skimmed but still).  What is this illustrious issue?  The fact that I really don’t like other people messing with my shit.  Turns out, and I’ve always said this, that has nothing to do with it.  It’s like mentioning the price of tea in china as evidence as to why my shoes are dirty.  What the fuck.  Dumb asses.  You want to know why I am so possessive of wait for it… my possessions?  Well one, their fucking mine and I value them, probably because they were either a gift or I worked hard to get them.  And two, I was raised that way.  When I was a wee little kid, my mom taught me, this is mine that is yours.  If it’s not yours, don’t touch it without asking.  Even now, I feel a little stab of guilt if I touch anything of someone’s without express permission even if I KNOW they don’t mind and I’m completely allowed.  And if they are there, I’ll probably ask again, just in case.  It’s not that I’m not willing to share, I’d let almost anyone use or share almost anything of mine, as long as they asked nicely… but don’t waltz into my room and just take it.  And then when I’m like.. dude what the fuck.. don’t pull that only child bullshit out.  Hell I think having siblings and being forced to fucking share EVERYTHING makes you way more MINE MINE MINE than being an only child does.

 

In conclusion, people are stupid.  That is all.  😀  ß– lol that last line .. completely made my day.





Life would be so much simplier

25 03 2012

If only I could just ‘settle down’ and want what most people want. Perhaps we’re all doomed to secretly long for something we don’t or can’t have, I don’t really believe that. But I also don’t think it should be this complicated or difficult. Le sigh.

Seriously though, while out I was thinking how much simpler my life would be if I wanted the things that I am ‘supposed’ to want. Such as: kids, a husband, a house with a yard and garage, a normal settled down family life.… yadda yadda. The whole prospect bores me to tears. I genuinely dislike children, and honestly in spite of those who go on about biological clocks, as I get older I’m even less enchanted with rug rats. I freely admit I like kids in certain doses, but it seems I also like it if it’s regulated like with teaching. I’m disgustingly fond of the majority of my students, but just hanging out all day with people’s kids drives me bananas… Like here for example, because I’m often the girl in the group the kids usually come to me and yammer at me in French. What? Hu? Don’t bloody mumble… no you can’t use my computer, which I have already told you 15 times. God what do you want now… I don’t know where your damn toys are go look for them yourself. Oh so go to the car and get them… why the hell do I have to go with you.. turn on the light.. or how about ask your father… yes that guy over there … JESUS WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW… go away… You know I think most old people are just pretending to be deaf so they don’t have to listen to you. (lol none of this is my boyfriend’s kid, he’s a whole different can of worms).

I do not want kids. Let me repeat that for the slow among you. I do not … in anyway want to procreate, rip my bits asunder having a baby, just to be tied… pretty much forever to someone who I may grow to hate. That’s another thing I don’t get… people usually think long and hard before getting married, well some do anyway. But they don’t give it’s a moment’s thought before having a kid with someone. Um hello, at least with marriage if it turns out to be a grievous error you can Read the rest of this entry »





Why I’ll never be a Yogi

10 02 2012

Well for starters I fucking hate yoga… ok that’s a little strong …. but i honestly don’t like doing it…. And while I do have some very cool yogi friends, I find them to be the exception to the annoying hippy rule.

So why this vauguely cunty post? lol It was just something I was pondering while skittering around on the black ice and feeling the burning in my lungs bc I’m a pussy and a have stupid little lung problems that prevent me from breathing nicely in the cold.   IT causes me all kinds of fun lung pain to run in the cold, not to mention trying to sort clothes to wear (I’d like to point out that it’s only like minus 2, I know wussie)… plus there is the pure thrill of running a road that randomly has patches of invisible ISANELY slippery ice.. good times

Add in the fact that the majority of drivers here react to a runner on the road like city folk react to a black bear on the side of the road, ie stupidly… why in gods name would I venture outside and go for a run?  I spent all this money and this yoga mat…   And there is a wall of windows with sun streaming in… perfect…

Yet .. it seems I’d actually rather torture myself that do the damn yoga.    Don’t get me wrong , like most exercise when you force yourself to ‘get out’ and do it… you feel good, at least when you’re done.  But yeah I just haven’t been able to force myself to pull out the matt, I react to it mentally like a petulant little child… internally pouting, stomping and shouting ‘don’t wanna’….

So much so that I went out today.. skittering about on the ice.. and am sitting on the couch still nursing my ouchy lungs ( like what do you do for THAT??) And all I can think is… gee I hope it warms up soon so I can go running like everyday… and force myself to do yoga… 2-3 times a week.

So yeah…. I’ll never be a yogi….  but it does make me appreciate the love hate love relationship I have with running:  and the hate love hate I have for biking, if only I could get over my hate hate hate relationship with swimming perhaps I could actually do a triathlon one day…

That is all, and now back to your regularly scheduled programming.





Dear Royal Bank: Fail

17 10 2011

So I had some financial woes of late, it’s a long story but essentially something happened to my bank account and I had to rush and put all my money on my credit card.  But then there was no money in my account to make their metered out payments, and it was around Chinese New Year so that means no real money coming in for a month or so to send money home.

Anyway it was a bit of a mess, and when I tried to talk to them about it, all they would do is spout parroted bullshit with out any thought.   That’s assuming they would talk to me at all and not be incredibly rude and condescending.   So I ended up just writing it off, I’d make a payment when I was able to send money home.  Normally that would be in a month, two tops… but because of Chinese New Year it ended up taking 3 months to get enough money together to be worth sending home.

My card got cut off, and no one called me or informed me of what was happening.  The only reason I even found out was because I couldn’t update apps on my ipod, and when I called the bank, everyone I talked to was unbelievable rude.  Like I was some sort of  degenerate who had be accumulating mountains of debt and paying nothing for years, as opposed to I missed two payment I live overseas and I contacted then and let them know in advance.  Assholes.

I got pissed off with the rudeness and  asked to be transferred to someone else with manners.  After much BS I finally got someone who didn’t have their head in their ass, got everything sorted out and then I specifically asked if I was going to be running into any other issues or problems in relation to this situation.  I was assured that I wouldn’t and happily went about my life.

Oh another unforeseen shit fest was, I applied for a loan online but wasn’t able to complete it, it would have paid off my credit card and been at a much lower interest rate.  I needed to be in Canada and walk into a bank to sign the papers, but then all this happened and temporarily screwed my credit rating so I couldn’t get the loan while I was home.. most annoying part?  My credit rating corrected within 2-3 months when I was no longer in the country… annoying.

Then, in August they jack my interest rate.. ASSHOLES.  I pay for a low interest rate card and then they bump my interest up…dicks.  I call, pitch a fit and am again treated like a complete piece of shit.  I progressively get more pissed off, and finally get someone polite who agrees that the bank actually screwed up, but she’s not high enough up to change or fix anything.  She promises to talk to people and call me back.  No call, they have completely failed at communicating with and getting back to me.  GRRR

So I call again, pitch a bit of a fit, and insist on speaking to manager, they have taken another installment of interest at this ridiculous rate and everyone is so rude.  There is no manager on, but this girl takes the whole story down and swears someone will call in 24-48 hours max.  Four days later no god damn call.

Now in this time, it occurs to me that I really should just tell them to stuff it.  I mean if I let the card default, let it go into collections, wait a while then contact collections  I can pay it back at 30-50 cents on the dollar.  So I get to keep my money now, don’t have to borrow money from my friend and i’m kinda debt free now.  BITCHES.  sure it messes up my credit rating, in a country I don’t live in and have no intentions of going back to anytime soon.  Shrug, what do I care?

And if I wasn’t such a god damn goodie two shoes…. that is exactly what I would do.  So lame, I wish I was badder…. but given how badly Visa was behaving  I was ready to be bad.

But.. sigh… this week I called and actually got someone intelligent and polite on the phone, who listened to me rant and actually tried to fix things.  Returned the last interest payment (the interest rate had already been fixed) so they returned all they money they took illegitimately plus some.  When I said wasn’t really enough, I got a genuine apology and he offered me a different card with some points that would give me some merch.

Honestly, it still isn’t enough but I’m damn well taking it, I will pay my visa off.  But I am definitely going to investigate other banks credit cards and what they can do for me.  I’m a good customer, and they don’t seem to get that.

I have paid the thing off, but I’m completely unimpressed.





Daddy Issues

3 09 2011

Sometime I make jokes about having daddy issues but all the wrong kind.  Well at least the wrong kind to make me be the kind of girl that makes guys swoon over the daddy issue.  Mine don’t push me to be a stripper or hooker or any of the other silly things that other people seem to think that having daddy issues get you.

Having had some time to think about it.. everyone has daddy issues in one way or another.  It’s just  a fact of life.

Mine are of a slightly different flavour, and recently I had an interesting thought or observation on the same topic.  So what’s my deal?  Well I’m sorta daddy free, I grew up without him in my life and I didn’t meet him until I was an adult.  To be honest I don’t think I was missing much, I am not very fond of him and because I didn’t grow up with him I don’t have the tolerance for his garbage.  It’s a lot different when you have history with someone, you’re much more likely to put up with them and their crap or craziness.  But if you just meet them one day and they annoy the hell out of you and have all these expectations on you… well why  would you stick around?

This is not to say I didn’t grow up with strong male figures in my life, I wasn’t actually raised in a single parent home… more like a three or more parent home.  My mom and I lived with my aunt and uncle for more than a year when I was little, my mom’s brother (other uncle) was in and out of the picture  around then too.   Then my mom moved to Smithers with her parents, so for most of my life I grew up with three parents, my mom, grandma and grandpa…  The Aunt and Uncle I lived with came out every year… my other uncle lived with us all on and off for years.

So I basically had two moms and like 2-3 dads.  Or three halfs.. which still adds up to more than one :D.  Score!  Anyway, clearly this all adds up to daddy issues of a sort.  What it really means in the grand scheme of things I have no idea.. but it brought up an interesting question for me.

Have you ever noticed that most people tend to date versions of their parents?  Not in a creepy sense, but just aspects of their relative’s personalities.  Honestly reflect on your dating persp Read the rest of this entry »





A Life Better Lived

12 02 2011

I was biking the other day, and I got to thinking.  What’s the point?  I mean what does anyone want?  What do we have to show for our lives?

I’ve never been good with goals, they seem too, I don’t know, Meh?  It seems like a lot of work having all these goals and trying to achieve them, especially as I only seem to be doing it for everyone else.  I don’t really care.  Well why not?  My whole life, I’ve always thought it was kinda important to have fun.

So many people want to own a house, have a family, make lots of money so they have something to show for their lives.  But these things are just not motivators for me.  I’d rather do nothing than bust my ass for silly things like that.  I don’t want kids, I don’t really want to have some amazing career (mostly because it sounds life sucking and not fun), I would love to own a house but I’d probably give it to my mom to live in or something.

So while biking I kept coming back to the same thought.  A life better lived.  What is my goal in life?  Meh nuttin’.  What do I want? What do I care about?  Friends, my cat, my family… having fun.  It’s not so much about doing crazy things, just doing things that are fun for me.  Experiencing life, if not to the fullest then at least experiencing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not interested in doing something mental just for the ‘experience’ but at the same time I currently seem to be in this limbo where ‘tomorrow’ I’m going to start going out and playing with my camera, try that silly toilet restaurant, take the Mao Kong Gondola, go to Egypt (perhaps that will have to wait a min though) and a hundred other things.  Some more ambitious, some less but still this here tomorrow business is just rediculous.

I was thinking about it.   Everyone I know is getting married, having kids, working on their careers… and I’m just chillin’.  If I was totally happy with it, that would be fine, but sometimes I’m fine and sometimes I’m bored.  I feel like there should be more to it.   So I’ve decided that my thing will be a life better lived.  I don’t know that I’ll have any of the things that anyone else is working on, or that I’ll even want it.  But I will have photos, and memories of all the things I’ve done.

So if I’m captain adventure, why don’t I do anything?  Because I’m an even bigger coward.  I’m always scared of change and trying new things.  I go to restaurants and order the same thing, it’s safe and good.  But from not on, I plan to try to live by my new motto, a life better lived.  I will make an effort to break out of my shell and try something new and different when the opportunity arises.  I might even make the opportunities myself.

Like today, I suggested some friends and I go to the modern toilet place but at the last minute I changed my mind.  I just didn’t feel like being social, I wanted to be alone.  So I went for some sushi, and while at sushi, I thought, hey now…. instead of going home and doing nothing why not go check out the gondola? I didn’t know what time it closed, it was cold, dark and rainy, but I figured it didn’t hurt to at least drive over and take a look (it’s very close to my house, and in the years it’s been operational I’ve never been).

So I pootled on over, and lookie here it’s a Friday and they’re open late on Fridays.   So on a whim, I hopped on.   Now to be honest, I should have just gone up to the first station and back down, but silly me I went all the way to the top (it was only 50 nt).  I didn’t realize that it was such a long trip or that it was going to be as terribly cold as it was.  But hey, the city lights were pretty and I’ll definit Read the rest of this entry »