A Friend is a Friend is Family a Friend..

9 12 2010

Ok, so sit down and get ready to read.

friends

What is a friend?  How do you define friends?  Are there really different kinds and levels?  Or is it really just black and white?

Personally, I think it’s a little of everything.  I do think there are definite lines but at the same time, for me anyway, there are multiple types and levels of friends.  Then bring family into the mix, things get even more complicated.Picture 114 Who is closer family, friends?  Is blood thicker than water?  You can pick your friends, but not your family… or can you?

I feel confidant that everyone has these thoughts from time to time, but maybe I’m wrong, perhaps it’s just me ;).    Either way I have friends, I have family but the lines get all blurred.  I have friends that are great, I love them, but they aren’t REALLY friends.  Not in the ‘my people’ sense.  On the other hand I have ‘people’ who are obviously friends because you can’t become people with out being friends, yet I never see or talk to them.  But in a pinch….

P8081183So who is a friend?  Who isn’t? What makes someone your friend?  A great time over a drink and a chat, regular lunches and confiding, close reliance on each other, there in a crisis, regular conversations, occasional deep and serious conversations, keeping in touch, or just Read the rest of this entry »





The Law of Attraction

29 11 2010

What’s the deal with attraction?  What makes it happen or not?  Are there any general rules, secrets or tricks?  Do you know, does anyone?

How about on a smaller scale?  Do you know what fuels your own attractions?  We all have a few obvious ones, turn ons, turn offs but there is more to it than that.  I mean yeah I’m attracted to a physical type right off the bat, around 6 feet tall, rather specific shoulder width but that is not to say that I can’t or don’t branch out side of that.

We’ve all had it happen.  You meet someone you’re attracted to them, there even appears to be a spark but when you pursue what you think is a potential match you discover you read it all wrong.  And it  sucks.  You’re a great friend but I’m just not interested in you or attracted to you, it’s a HUGE blow to the ego.  Makes you contemplate what’s wrong with you, what is that makes you so unappealing.. and so on.  Que self bashing.

The flip side, someone is into you, and for all intensive purposes they are great, but you’re just not interested.  You don’t find them attractive, but you don’t want to lose the friendship… sticky situation.  Perhaps they are just too interested in you, and while it seems like that would be flattering and an ego boosting it really isn’t.  It’s frustrating, and it kinda sucks.

So how the hell does anyone ever get together?  I mean is it cosmic, do the sun moon and stars have to be lined up just right to make it work?

It’s not even as simple as I’ve just summarized right here.  Come on think about it, how many times have experienced this.  Instant attractions a connect, chemistry, of course we’ve all had that at some time or another.  How about you met someone one who was attractive but you just didn’t think about them that way, at least not at first.  Now factor in “I’m attracted to him/her” vs “I’m not attracted to him/her”.

Now throw this into the mix, not being attracted to some one doesn’t mean you find them unattractive.  It could just mean you have no real feelings either way, if you’re living in this zone you can probably be swayed.  But what if you flat out find them unattractive?   People meet and end up with people they ‘never would have thought’ all the time.  Heck, look at Charolate on Sex in the city, she married the short bald dude who she initially thought no way about.

So how about you? Could you date someone you were on the fence about, someone who you weren’t attracted to per-say?   How about someone you found unattractive, no matter how wonderful of a person they are?    I suspect this makes me a terrible person, but for me the answers are sure I’d be willing to give them a chance, followed by a resounding no.  Does it make me a horrible shallow person?  Probably, but there isn’t much I can do about that.  It’s not to say he has to be a super model, I just have to find him attractive, am I really asking too much?





I Don’t Care (I’m not pretending any more, I’m trying)

17 11 2010

Ok so I was a little irked about a couple of things, and you know how it is… they float about in the back of your focus.  But if they keep getting poked and prodded they become bigger issues.  So a few things that were bothering me, came to a head enough to start to coalesce into a blog post.

So I’m driving home on Saturday evening mentally composing what I want to write in my head.  I got home and started, but literally got about two sentences in when Tracey called.  We hadn’t spoken in ages so obviously I talked to her over writing, but by the time we got off the phone I was knackered (was already pretty tired before I got home) and had to go straight to bed.  Not to worry I’ll pick it up the next day.. but guess not.

As usual with me, a day later.. and ‘meh, I’m good’ it’s back to floating about in the back.  It’s not that I forget or don’t care anymore, it’s more that it’s not such a priority, it’s not weighing on me.  So it becomes a draft, and left until it comes up again.  I need to write when I’m in a full snit, if it’s something that bothers, angers, upsets, confuses me or so on, I need to write about it when it’s still hot sauce.

It’s actually not even the same thing that prodded me into action, but on some level it has to do with the same things.  For me anyway.

My instinct is to try to pad it for everyone, make sure that no one takes it personally whether I’m writing about them or not.  Well guess what I am writing about you.  I’m writing about everyone, myself, those close to me and those not.  Obviously it doesn’t all apply to any one person, heck for some of you none of it may currently apply.  The point is I’m making general statements about the state of the universe and how we take things.  Far more of it It has to do with myself, yes you heard it here first.. it’s all about me. So suck it.

Here is what I was writing, let’s see if I can express it clearly.  Let’s the circus begin.

Dear Everyone,

F Read the rest of this entry »





You are Some Kind of Wonderful

22 01 2010

… That was the text message I recieved this morning.

That made my day, my week even.

IT was such a simple little thing, A friend was leaving and I was teaching his class.  I knew his flight left at 11 so at 1030 I though I call say “bye good luck etc”, then I though hey since I’m with the kids I’ll have them say bye to him too.  Well talk about reaching out and touching someone!  He was really happy about it, and then sent me that text.  🙂

It’s surprising the things that end up meaning a lot to someone.  The best part was how happy it made him makes me wanna go nuts with the nice nice for people.  Actually, My friend Mel is also leaving and one of her co-workers made  a little video for her saying bye and I am thinking about doing the same thing for my friend who just left as I’m teaching his class.  Not sure if I’ll get to it but it seems like a nice thing.

I’m plotting nice things… hopefully I’ll follow through on them.