I ponder, why bother?

20 07 2010

Have you ever done everything you could? Or at least felt or that you did? If it all went to crap does it make you feel better or worse?  If you didn’t give it your all there is the self flagellation about how if you had just tried harder, if only you had made more effort perhaps you wouldn’t be such a  failure.  But on the other hand…. if you do give it your all, pour in your heart and soul and you still fail.  Then you’re just a failure, all that business about if you just tried hard enough, applied your self and you could achieve anything is bullshit.

So what are the options?  You fail because you don’t apply yourself?  Or you Fail because you just aren’t good enough?

They both seem pretty bullshit to me.  Then it taints the whole world of success too, what does it mean when you succeed?  Is it because you really went for it?  Or just blind luck?

Some say that if you throw your all in it then you can be consoled in that you tried your best and thus it’s not your fault.  But I think that’s worst, your best wasn’t good enough.. what a bummer.

No wonder all I want to do is lay on the beach 😛

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8 responses

21 07 2010
Andrew

Dennis Waitley in his book, Seeds of Greatness, said that he had been given a friendly warning that “so-called motivators preached too much about attitude, without properly weighing aptitudes.” Waitley has himself come to the conclusion that we “need to learn what we are ‘good at,’ rather than try to model our lives after individuals who possess completely different talents from our own.” Trying hard, applying yourself and achieving anything your heart desires is a somewhat niave and distorted success tenant to begin with. I do believe, however, that trying hard, applying oneself to the best of one’s ability can achieve a lot of worthwhile things.

So, if you succeed it might be because you stuck to your strengths and did something you were good at.

It could also be because you were a battler that persisted so much that you gathered enough distinctions and experience to become a success.

When we think about a lot of successful people ‘blind luck’ hardly seems an appropriate label.

I’m on good terms with failure but that might be in part because I’ve never really been the overly ambitious type. I also didn’t particularly care about the areas I supposedly failed in. Failure can be looked at as a helpful indicator that may be telling us different things. That we need to change our approach if we want to succeed in that area. That we need to be realistic and put in the time necessary. It can also be misleading. In the pursuit of something that seemingly failed we may note later that a strong foundation had been laid and once the dust settles we find ourselves stronger and capable to achieve our goal that we originally failed at! It may indicate that we can’t do this on our own and need the help of others. It may indeed be terminal indicating that we just don’t have the mindset, aptitude or prerequisite abilities to do the job and should simply persue another endeavor. Failure could be the spring board to something far more fulfilling… In answer to your question, I would rather fail because I tried but wasn’t good enough. For one thing, I consider life a bit of an adventure game. It’s like when we are born we are given a magical parchment. The picture on it looks like an uncharted, unmapped country with just some vague outlines. Gradually, by applying ourselves areas on this mysterious map are revealed. The areas I’m not good at don’t bother me. What really interests me is finding out what I’m good at.

21 07 2010
Magdalicious

Interesting and good points, 🙂

21 07 2010
Sandy

I like the fact that I can go out and give it my all, and fail and be ok. Because it wasn’t about me succeeding anyways. I succeeded when I tried. How it turns out – it’s not in my control. Only God controls the outcome. I can only control how much I try….and then sometimes, I need help in that too. It’s hard to try to do more than lay on the beach. That’s all I usually want to do as well.
So it looks like I am a loser after all – because who wins every time? and how do you control all the circumstances that need to come together for most things to happen? …I know it wasn’t me.

21 07 2010
Magdalicious

I understand and respect your beliefs, but unfortunately I don’t share them.. so I don’t really have that out. But it’s cool that you can see things that way
🙂

21 07 2010
Kari

lmao proud failure here then I guess… yeah lets go to the beach!

21 07 2010
Magdalicious

excellent, love the beach 🙂

23 07 2010
miltownkid

“[A]ll that business about if you just tried hard enough, applied your self and you could achieve anything is bullshit.”

O RLY?

In my opinion people fail when they quit. Quitting isn’t the same as changing your focus or redefining your measure of success. Quitting is stopping before success is achieved.

Success is just about achieving a desired outcome. If the outcome is no longer desired, one can’t really fail at achieving it.

The best example I have from my personal life is my path through martial arts. I started with Karate after seeing “Karate Kid.” My goal was to get a Black Belt in Karate. That would have been success for me at the time, but as I grew and learned more about martial arts, success shifted from getting a Black Belt to being a Shaolin Monk, being a Kung Fu “Master”, being a Taichi “Master” and now being an instructor with a school.

Did I fail at getting my Karate Black Belt? I suppose some would say yes, but I would say no. Although that was what I wanted originally, my desire changed. At the same time I’ve been told that I’m a master of kungfu/taichi but… Those are no longer relevant to me. It’s not about looking at the past, it’s about moving forward toward new goals (and living in the present. 🙂 )

And back to your original statement, I think you may be missing the point about believing you can achieve anything (by trying hard and applying yourself). You MUST believe you can achieve your desired goal. There can be no conscious or unconscious seeds of doubt (in my opinion and from what I read). With non-belief you set yourself for “failure” from the start.

That’s my 2NT anyway.

30 07 2010
Tracey

Although I’m more inclined to think the way of Sandy, I think Andrew has some really interesting points in his comment. Aptitudes really play an important part in what we can acheive. I could try to be a world class ballerina but it’s never going to happen, so why should I beat myself up about it?

But I think it’s really important not to let a fear of “failure” paralyze action 🙂

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