Do You Trust Me?

28 11 2009

What is trust?  Well according to Dictionary.com

verb

13. to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something (usually fol. by in or to): to trust in another’s honesty; trusting to luck.
14. to have confidence; hope: Things work out if one only trusts.
16. to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on.
17. to believe.
18. to expect confidently; hope (usually fol. by a clause or infinitive as object): trusting the job would soon be finished; trusting to find oil on the land.
19. to commit or consign with trust or confidence.
20. to permit to remain or go somewhere or to do something without fear of consequences: He does not trust his children out of his sight.
21. to invest with a trust; entrust with something.

Ok, well that’s a dictionary definition, but what does it mean to you?  How important is trust to you?

How do decide if someone is worthy of your trust?  Are you the kind of person who just gives it out like candy, or do people need to earn your trust?  If someone has broken your trust, can they earn it back?  Why, why not, how?

Musical interlude!!!  I love this song! 

I hear a lot of people talking about how you need to earn their trust.  That it’s a privilege.  So what does that mean, that you trust no one until they have passed a certain number of ‘tests’?   Seems a little depressing to me…

I am more of the I trust you.  Done, until you do something to break that trust.  Perhaps it’s naive of me, but I like it.  I suppose one could argue that I get hurt more often for my innocent trusting ways.  But to be frank I couldn’t really imagine it any other way… I’m not big on tests.  I will admit I’m a lot slower at letting people on in, but not so much out of a lack of trust just that I don’t feel like making everyone my best friend and then having them crap on me.  So I wait a little while before making them my bosom buddy.

So what happens if someone breaks my trust?  Well, it’s pretty much done.  If you break my trust, it’s not that I won’t forgive you I will.   But try as I might, I just can’t trust you anymore.  I can often let it go and ignore that area.. say if it’s about money then we’ll just avoid that topic to the end of time.  But what if it’s something bigger that can’t be avoided?

So once someone has betrayed or broken a trust can it be earned back?  I mean for me… it seems like the answer is no.  I just don’t have any protocol in place for establishing trust.. it’s either there or not.  So what about people who make you jump through 25 hoops to win their trust.  Can you earn trust back from them?  I mean they have already established a pattern of proving yourself, so in theory while possibly challenging couldn’t you just jump through 100 hoops and prove yourself once again?

Or is it just over?  Once trust has been broken can it be fixed?  Does it need to be earned?  Or can you just have faith in the goodness of others?

What do you think?

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4 responses

1 12 2009
Dee

I have always been of the trust until proven untrustworthy side. Unfortunately, I often find myself in conversations with those that are on the other end of the spectrum. It makes for awkward and defensive convos. I often feel I have to defend human nature. I refuse to succumb to the mindset that all people are assholes and out to gouge for everything they can. I don’t know that I could live in such a world and continue to be the happy person I am today.

The last thing I want to do is be bitter and accusatory, out loud or in my head about people. I always assume the best of them until they prove me otherwise.

Probably falls under the “do unto others” thing. I would hate to think someone would feel that way about me, so why would I feel that way about them? Karma is a bitch, and I’m not fucken with her.

I will always be a truster. Which really is kinda funny, because if anyone has reason not to trust, it’s me. LOL

But then, when I think about it, I do trust in negative ways too. I trust that everyone leaves. Whether it be by death, disownment, whatever, everyone leaves. But now that i say that out loud (so to speak) it’s not really a trust, it’s a reality.

So back to “yes, I trust you, even if I don’t know you, unless you prove yourself untrustworthy, because I’m assuming you would honour me with the same respect, so why wouldn’t I hand you the respect I’m expecting?”.

Why do your posts always make me write a fucking book?

1 12 2009
Magdalicious

Personally I take that as a compliment 😀 (that I inspire long ass comments)

yeah I’m the same way with the trusting of everyone.. I’ve even tried not trusting people the best I can do is hesitating. But I can’t even comprehend making people prove themselves… it’s like trying to prove the sunrise… I already know that. I already know all people are good… until they become crap that is.

1 12 2009
Nadine

I’m kinda the same way…. I’ll assume someone is trustworthy and give them that trust, but the SECOND they fuck me over, I’m done with them. I’ll still talk to them (once I’m over being furious) but our conversations go about as deep as discussing the weather.

1 12 2009
Magdalicious

Totally, unless you’ve really fucked up.. you probably won’t even know anything has changed.. but I’ve totally put you on the… don’t trust yay shelf. Although, I suppose if they really piss me off the whole thing goes up in smoke and we are downgraded to conversations about the weather.

That always depresses me, a former close friend, that is now worse than a stranger.. awkward don’t really want to tell them anything, don’t really care about there life… sad 😦

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