The Law of Attraction

29 11 2010

What’s the deal with attraction?  What makes it happen or not?  Are there any general rules, secrets or tricks?  Do you know, does anyone?

How about on a smaller scale?  Do you know what fuels your own attractions?  We all have a few obvious ones, turn ons, turn offs but there is more to it than that.  I mean yeah I’m attracted to a physical type right off the bat, around 6 feet tall, rather specific shoulder width but that is not to say that I can’t or don’t branch out side of that.

We’ve all had it happen.  You meet someone you’re attracted to them, there even appears to be a spark but when you pursue what you think is a potential match you discover you read it all wrong.  And it  sucks.  You’re a great friend but I’m just not interested in you or attracted to you, it’s a HUGE blow to the ego.  Makes you contemplate what’s wrong with you, what is that makes you so unappealing.. and so on.  Que self bashing.

The flip side, someone is into you, and for all intensive purposes they are great, but you’re just not interested.  You don’t find them attractive, but you don’t want to lose the friendship… sticky situation.  Perhaps they are just too interested in you, and while it seems like that would be flattering and an ego boosting it really isn’t.  It’s frustrating, and it kinda sucks.

So how the hell does anyone ever get together?  I mean is it cosmic, do the sun moon and stars have to be lined up just right to make it work?

It’s not even as simple as I’ve just summarized right here.  Come on think about it, how many times have experienced this.  Instant attractions a connect, chemistry, of course we’ve all had that at some time or another.  How about you met someone one who was attractive but you just didn’t think about them that way, at least not at first.  Now factor in “I’m attracted to him/her” vs “I’m not attracted to him/her”.

Now throw this into the mix, not being attracted to some one doesn’t mean you find them unattractive.  It could just mean you have no real feelings either way, if you’re living in this zone you can probably be swayed.  But what if you flat out find them unattractive?   People meet and end up with people they ‘never would have thought’ all the time.  Heck, look at Charolate on Sex in the city, she married the short bald dude who she initially thought no way about.

So how about you? Could you date someone you were on the fence about, someone who you weren’t attracted to per-say?   How about someone you found unattractive, no matter how wonderful of a person they are?    I suspect this makes me a terrible person, but for me the answers are sure I’d be willing to give them a chance, followed by a resounding no.  Does it make me a horrible shallow person?  Probably, but there isn’t much I can do about that.  It’s not to say he has to be a super model, I just have to find him attractive, am I really asking too much?





Somewhere between Amusement and Annoyance

14 11 2010

So a friend invited me to go out for dinner/ hang out this evening.  We went for dinner and it was  was REALLY good.

While we’re sitting there chatting and he mentioned that while out with a couple of our other friends and his and their girlfriends.  It came up that these girls all seem to have the impression that I’m into their guy.  I had to laugh but I’m also a little irritated.

He confessed that he might have made it worse because he said that he had told one guy’s girlfriend that I was sad when I found out he was involved (idiot 🙂 ).  Which he genuinely believed.  It completely blew me away.. I have never been interested in my friend, and yes I was surprised to learn he was engaged, but disappointed?? no.  Perhaps if I had known him for longer and better I might have been but I found out perhaps after the 4th time I had met him, and I was just surprised as he didn’t ‘seem’ like he was with anyone.  It turns out his gf/finance was studying abroad which is why he had so much free time, which made so much more sense when I got the story.

Anyway I guess his gf was concerned, so My two other friends explained to her that I’m just really friendly and flirty.   That it’s my personality and I don’t mean anything by it.  Then the girlfriend of my friend that I was out with, made some crack about how he better not be letting me flirt with him.

Seriously I hate people.  Women especially.  I have yet to meet a dumber set of creatures than women.  (obviously I don’t really mean that before someone crawls up my ass, I’m just annoyed and venting).  I mean seriously, if I wanted a piece of that why wouldn’t I have taken a crack at it when any of these guys were single?  Or when the one guy’s girl was out of country?  Oh because I’m not interested???  They are my friends… but people seem to think that if you’re friends with someone the only possible reason is because you want to fuck them.

LAME.  I’m friends with them because we all like board games.  I’m not in it for the secret late night sex game parties (that sweet Jesus I hope don’t exist), I’m in it for the games and company of good friends.

All this lame ass jealousy amuses me when I’m being higher minded about it… but annoys the hell out of me most of the time.  I will never understand the whole I love you so I’m going to be jealous of anyone and everyone around you.  And if you loved me you’d miss me all the time and be jealous when anyone looked sideways at me.  (insert eye roll here)

Plus the dumbest part is clearly these women don’t know me in the slightest because as anyone who knows me can attest to, I want nothing to do with any guy who is involved with anyone.  Given my history dabbling in the arena, I’ve learned my lesson.  Nothing good comes of it… and I stand by the logic if he’d cheat on you to be with me he’ll cheat on me to be with someone else.  Have been very badly burned by that and have the scars to prove it.

Plus I genuinely think people put themselves and what they would do on other people.  I trust people because I’m trust worthy.  I’ll trust you until you do something to prove to me that you’re not worthy of my trust, when you break it then it’s kinda fucked.  But until then I’ll trust you.  What makes me suspicious is when ‘you’ get all suspicious and nervous all the time…. what are you up to when I’m not around that makes you so suspicious of me?  That’s what I think these guys should throw back in their faces when their women get out of line.

lol but maybe I’m just a bitch.

(PS this is a much bigger issue in Taiwan, I’ve run into some of this sort of thing other places… but not like here.   )