Dear Canada, Bite Me!

7 07 2009

Dear Canada,

I know you have been saddened by my absence and that many things have changed while I have been away.  And while I’m sure there are many lovely things I have not had a chance to note or appreciate yet, I have a few complaints.

You realize the size of the cars your residents drive is retarded, right?  Especially as 90% of the time people are pootling about alone or with one person.  Why, then have you not made some nice cheap little 2 seaters that are fuel efficient?  I’m not even going to pretend this has anything to do with the environment (although I suppose it should), it’s just ridiculous!  Everything is so far away you usual must have some form of transport and it’s killa cold in the winter, I can think of 20 solutions off the top of my head.. come come now.  This isn’t the end of the world but it’s more than a little silly.

Let’s discuss the circle of fun that you put me through, shall we?  Let’s see my wallet was stolen/lost about 1 1/2 years ago in Taiwan, now obviously replacing my Canadian Cards wasn’t happening until I made it here.  Now stupid me, did I realize that I should bring my birth certificate  home with me? No, my fault I’m aware, but when the hell did the nation fall into a state of FREAKING panic.  Everyone was like.. but how do I know you are you?  Do you see this Passport????? Issued by our government???? Accepted BY EVERY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AS DEFINITIVE ID??? DO YOU SEE IT!!!! As I smack you in the god damnity damn head with it?

Costco: can you replace my member card?  Do you have your Drivers license?  Die.

So, clearly all problems are solved with this magical drivers licence, yes?

I went to replace my card, and I have to pay a fee, ok, and oh wait.. can you prove who you are? What do you mean my passport isn’t primary ID???? REALLY?  Ok so my ONLY choice in this awesome situation is to Read the rest of this entry »

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MY Stuff got Stoled…

14 06 2009

And I blame Drew’s Cancer…  http://www.blamedrewscancer.com

Ok I don’t but that’s something different.

So I’m so mad.. at myself and the fucker who broke into my bike and stole my Camera and all my cash.  Now I am aware it could have been worse… much worse.   I mean just in the ‘grand scheme of things’ things could always be worse.  But also My credit card could have been in there (it’s not because I’ve learned not to do that again… I never carry my credit cards in Taiwan), I could have NOT taken my Palm Pilot with all my Chinese on it, and my Ipod out of my bag.  I could have not gone back and gotten my phone (before someone broke in).  They could have taken my whole wallet cards and all, (although there is one card missing.. and I can’t for the life of me figure out what the card was… not a bank card, ID, Licence, ??? maybe there was nothing there but it looks oddly empty) They could have stolen my bike, my $200(USD) Motorbike Helmet….  and so on.  They (as best as I can tell) only took my Camera and Cash.  They did steal my tiny water bottle… (really.. wtf??)

So why am I so upset?  Because this is not the first time I’ve have stuff stolen, out of my bag/bike.  AND I had a funny feeling and I Ignored it… I’m so SO FUCKING mad at myself…   That and I didnt’ even want to Read the rest of this entry »