No Subject, here, there, everywhere

Hmmm I’m not even sure where to begin, usually I have an idea, a thread, a title.. it’s all pretty much mapped out in my mind.  But not this one.  I guess I’m just going to have to write it and see where it goes, see what comes out and what title will do.

That’s not to say that I don’t have any idea what to write, or even on other subjects tasty little tidbits that have been mapped out.  But that’s not what I want to write.. obviously.  So her I sit sipping on my drink.. wait someone is chatting with me.

Ok Back.

Speaking of random…ok you don’t know this but I do.. it’s funny how connections are made.  So one of my old friends from PG just started chatting with me, she is the daughter of my old boxing coach.  Actually I had just messaged her a week or so ago to ask if she remembered Mike’s last name.

Now why would I want to know that, well most because I’m curious and a few blasts from the past have contacted me and it’s been good for a

Dinner with THE ex…

Well that was interesting, potentially very bad but things turned out just fine.  I was honestly very hesitant to meet up with Erik (my ex), for a number of reasons but primarily because of our past.  I just didn’t know what feelings meeting up with him would bring up, I spent a lot of years getting over everything that happened.  And I thought I was over it many times but not until recently was it really the case.  I guess I was afraid that I “thought” I had gotten over it but meeting up with him would make everything real and bring it all back.

Ultimately what I decided was that meeting up for a drink was a good thing.  One of two things would happen, everything would be fine I really am OK now and it would be interesting to reconnect with an old friend.  Or, it would suck, all kinds of yucky resentments, fears and hard feelings would surface and I would get really upset.  Not the positive aspects of the first outcome is pretty clear, the second might not be so apparent to the casual observer.  There were a lot of hard feelings, resentment, and general mess-ed-up-ed-ness on my part, and honestly I over it.  All of it, I can talk about it freely with out emotional distress, I’m really fine.  But.. if, IF there were some residual issues and crap that I hadn’t addressed, more things I had swept under the rug of life.. this would sure as hell bring them out.

I’ll be honest, I was mighty hesitant to meet up.  But as I already explained, it really was in my best interest.

Now for those of you who know the story (some or all) you’ve always heard me say, that in-spite of everything that happened he was