Harumph

Alright, I have some bitching to do.. some shit I want to get off my chest and complain about.  Now before I start, let me begin with a couple of little disclaimers.  One, if you want to give me the little speech about how complaining and whinging is detrimental to my mental health yadda yadda… don’t.  Shut up.  I enjoy a good bitch, so nayyyayayay.  Two, if you’re about to say something along the lines of ‘you complain a lot” …. seriously?  Are you new here?  I’m 33 years old, no shit sherlock, I’m not changing now ;).    Three, no one is forcing you to read this, and if you’re honest you like someone elses woes.. because lets face it.. it’s amusing damn it :P>

ON WITH THE BITCHING

Well one.. my mouse is a cunt, I hate it.. and I want to smash it.  That is all on that right now.

I went to  get my hair cut, because it’s so dry I think it’s going to crumble off my head.  It’s getting hard to wash and comb out bc it’s so damaged and dry on the ends.  I tried to get Regis to take me to a place, because I’m all nervous about it.. but he wouldn’t (which really irritated me, yes I know I could do it myself but I want you to come and help just in case, I never told him no when he wanted help).  Anyway I finally got frustrated and went by myself at 150pm.. and of course.. IT’S FUCKING CLOSED for lunch.  le sigh.  They open at 2, not the end of the world, but irritating and all I could thing is how does anyone make any damn money here?  Nothing is open.. well I worked that out when I got the bill.  The sign says 16 Euros for a cut.. and has the word shampoo above it.  How foolish of me to think anything was included…  I get the bill… I was charge 16 euros for a basic trim, 4.50 for the shampooing, 4.50 for the conditioner (that’s right it’s not included).  And when she offered to blow dry my hair, I was like, no it’s not necissary just toss a little product in it and let it air dry.  Idiot… she charged me 3.50 for mousse… which she didn’t even use much of… SERIOUSLY???  It’s like 5 minutes from my house, I so could and would have washed my hair at home and tossed a little gel in it when I got back… all of that cost me  (these little extras, that to me are normally included or at least clearly itemized by prices BEFORE you do it) 12.50 euros… That’s $16.30 CAD just for shampoo, conditioner and a bit of mousse… in total I spend 28.50 euros… for like 30 mins and a wee trim which would have been fine if the fucking sign didn’t say 16. GR

Driving.. one of the only things Regis and I fight about.  Sometimes, usually when I’m driving bc he’s been drinking, I’m the best driver ever.  Then sometimes he’s all nag nag trying to teach me better ways to drive. Now it’s not that I don’t think he can’t teach me, I am certain he can tell me lots about driving… but it’s the way he goes about it that drives me bananas.  The worst was the whole right of way rules in France.  Now, he didn’t explain this clearly and it caused a few frustrated spats, but in the end I worked it out.

And it’s fucking RETARDED.  So this is what I’ve finally worked out, when you’re driving down a road, and there is an intersection (not a four way stop mind you) any road coming onto your road…. if they are on your right.. they have the right of way, unless they have a big white stop line before the crosswalk.  Which you can’t see until you’re basically parallel to the road.  RIGHT… the right of way is based on the marking on the OTHER road… that you either have to memorize, or just drive like someone’s grandma checking for stop lines.  You don’t have to stop, so I suppose they save on stop signs and paint lines… (shakes head)

This is seriously the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.. what it means is technically if they want to, people coming out of side roads (as long as they are taking a right) can just shoot out into the road.  Because they have the right of way.  O.O The idea….  get this, is to keep people from on the straight roads from going too fast.  ….. really?  How about stop lines.. and if I have a stop line I stop.. novel idea.  They made this rule so you never know who is coming from where so you have to drive slower or potentially die… really.. this seems like a good idea?  TO WHO???

Speed signs… this is a fucking charmer… sometimes they post the speed limit, sometimes they don’t.  The limit could be 130km/hr on the highway or 110, or 90… sometimes it’s marked sometimes you get to guess.  On the not highways.. the roads are all two way.. even though they are usually one narrow lane wide.  The limit?  Well it is usually 90 (suicide on these roads) but it might be 70, or 50, it might be labeled.. it might not.. GUESS. So it’s probably pretty clear in town right?  Wrong.   Next to town it might might 70, might be 50, in town itself it might be 50 it might be 30.  It’s usually fine, I can usually suss it out because there is a certain logic to the speeds… but still Invest in a fucking sign…

Ok rant done.. 😀 tralala gonna go for a walk 😉

 

Because no one is online… and I’m sulking

sigh everyone is either sleeping or working..

So I’m having one of those days… I went to the store to pick up stuff for dinner, and ended up rushing to two store looking for something Regis wanted (know how many times he’s asked for something, other than beer? This one time.. and of course I can’t find it.  Sigh… He’s like don’t worry about it, but of course I am bummed.  (Yes I know it’s stupid… I’m stupid like that… if anyone asks for something I usually turn myself inside out trying to get it to them.

Anyway, So I got a pork roast some apples etc.. adapted this recipe online with apple cider and stuffs.  big plans… Started with some bruschetta… which was pretty damn good actually.. and good thing as it turned out or we might have starved to death.

I put the roast in the oven… for .. 30 minutes… and the damn thing is pretty much raw when I pull it out to check on it… gah … What have I done wrong??? I have no idea.. so I toss the bitch back in… an hour later it’s looking good.. so I cut into it.. and it’s pink.. like TOTALLY pink.. FUCK.. Now I don’t have a proper roasting pan (and no I’ve never made a pork roast before) so I had used tin foil to cover it.. works a charm with the turkey in Taiwan and that’s in my little ghetto oven.  This is a big bad ass oven…

So I dunno.. 40 some minutes later.. it’s STILL not done.. WTF.. it’s mostly done.. but still a little pinker than either of us though was acceptable… GRRR  So we slice it.. and put the slices back in the oven while I quickly do the stove veg and make the gravy.

Meanwhile in all the pulling it out looking at it.. using a spoon to put some cider/water/juice on it so it doesn’t dry out… I have burned myself.. oh at least 3-4 times on this thing in the oven whose only reason for existing that I can see is getting in my way and burning me.  Grumble.

At this point I’m so frustrated I could cry… I mean who can’t cook a damn pork roast… sure I’ve never done it before.. but I haven’t done lots of things before.. and I’ve made roasts for fucksakes… GAH

So I;m pouting and Regis is starving.. and we’re chatting about it.. and how I can’t understand what happened… and I tell him I covered it, because I don’t have a proper roasting pan.. and he’s like… you covered it? HAHAHAHAHA Well that’s what went wrong, mystery solved.

.. Um care to share there princess?  Because when you cover something it traps the heat and it cooks faster… so I fail to see what is funny.. or what the hell you’re talking about.  And he points out it’s a convection oven… um.. ok (having never used one.. and growing increasing UNfond of the fucking thing) So what… heat is heat… No seems that if you cover something in the convection over.. it just never cooks because it doesn’t actually get THAT hot but it blows the hot air around. >.< face palm.. Mind you I LOOKED online about how to cook a roast in a convection oven and NO ONE mentioned that little fucking gem.

We finally have dinner and of course my entire self esteem is resting on this stupid meal because I invested so much damn time into it.. effort and fugging burned my hands.. grumble.  And he’s like yeah it’s fine.  I swear I almost burst into tears… YES I know I’m being a big child, and I get way too invested in these things.  Sulk.

And when I got online to try to call or chat … I realized everyone is working or sleeping… SIGH.  And my mouse is all borked… No I don’t have any real problems… shutty.

Miss everyone 🙂

Living together

You know, for the first time living with someone, things are really good. Sure we get under each others skin from time to time, and the stress of life makes us grouchy and unreasonable occasionally. But all in all, not the horror fest I’d imagined cohabitation would be.

And really if you think about it, the whole thing is rather astonishing. From “well hey thanks for the sex” to ” uh hi, you know you didn’t need to call” to twitterpated to well, this. Mostly living together in the ‘wan and really living together here. And trying to figure out how we’re gonna make it work after June..

Anyway I was just kinda pondering that…

Oh and ps it drives him. Bonkers that I often leave the toilet light on… But it’s so not my fault the room is a vault once the door is closed if you forgot to turn the light off you’d never know till you went back in.. And the light switches flick the wrong way.. Drives me nuts, I’m constantly leaving rooms and auto turning off the light which turns it on here. 😛

Easter Weekend

This weekend was Easter, which means lots of brightly coloured fun chocolates in the store and me mildly pouting and reminiscing about Easter egg hunts which I no longer get to participate in.  So on Sat, Regis is like ‘ok I’m only telling you this once, so you’d best remember’  obnoxious as that was, at least he gave me a heads up for the plans this weekend.  Seems we have learned from the folly of not informing me and then getting mad pissy at me bc I’m not ready.  Cue the eyeroll.

So on Saturday afternoon we played a game of Karnaxis, that Regis lost with a resounding thud. Lol Which was very amusing because he trounced me the day before.  I’d go into details but most have you have never played never mind heard of the game and the details would only be interesting if you knew about it.  Then we were supposed to head to Caen to pick up Regis’s brother’s brother (this is very common here and makes my life of my brother and sister who not related to each other at all less weird) and check out some information about playing paintball.  But I didn’t want to go, so I chilled at home, went for a run, and got ready.

When they got back from Caen, we headed over to Samuel and Chloe’s house (Regis’s Brother and sister in law), for a birthday dinner for her older daughter.  Chloe went all out and made all kinds of yummy special things for dinner, we started with something that basically translates to amusing your mouth, it was chopped peppers, avocado crème fresh and some other things.  Then we had two huge trays of escargots, which we pretty much demolished in 4.5 seconds, lol it was a friendly flight over the snails.. Regis, the cunt, kept trading his empty shells for my full ones.  Then we had sweet potatoes, baked apples and some cut of duck with a special sauce.  Which was fricken delicious. Followed by (notice the correct order of the foods… don’t mess with the order) some more booze (duh) followed by an apple tart thing.  Yum.   There was much drinking, food and revelry, but I got tired and bowed out at … 3 ish.. music still booming.  So I’m in the guest (almost like a hostel) room with the other brother .. and I started to write for my blog.. and he’s like.. HEY QUIT  TYPING I’m trying to sleep.  Uh ok. It’s not like it’s loud.. unlike the music (not a complaint I just thought it was ironic that the tapping of keys was disturbing his sleep) and then.. lol he proceeded to store like a frickin train.  Can I yell at you now?  😛 neener… ha he saw I posted online snicker.  I finally fell out, only to be woken, by my wasted boyfriend, who was kind cute and cuddly even though he was trashed.

Of course, I woke early and couldn’t sleep due to light, alcohol consumption, and captain snores.. I couldn’t sleep.  So I went downstairs, read on the couch and fell asleep but woke up again when Chloe got up to take her daughter to the train station. I gave up, got up and washed the dishes (why not…lol) .  As soon as the troops got up, we had to go ever to Regis’s mom’s place for lunch, which was also nice, and in the correct food order :D.  But near the end of lunch, I was on the verge of just falling out at the table.  Regis told me I could take a nap in the other room, so I missed the end of the gathering and everyone leaving.  Regis ended up coming in and napping with me, and I woke up around 5/6, yay the dessert I had missed was waiting for me.  Yum, Chocolate mousse with fruit in it.  Then we had to rush home to have quick showers and get ready to go to his friend’s house for a bbq.

We headed over to his friend’s house (who is actually quite a nice guy, and he has a really nice place) had some more drinks… ok I had some, they had a shit ton..  Note we got there… mmm round 7 ish.. at 11… I mentioned most bbqs that I go to have food at some point.. lol.  The boys were like, snap lets fire up the grill.  Nothing like whiskey to make the boys forget the food, chuckle.  Then there was some major drama, one guy and his girlfriend got in this massive fight.  Which I completely missed, because I was on my computer in the other room.  Wait hang on, rewind, I am doing this 30 day challenge, and I hadn’t been able to go work out, so I went out at 930 for a brisk (terrifying) walk in the dark.  After which, I got really bored because only one girl would talk to me (and not that much, and she was the one with the big fight so she disappeared) the other two barely acknowledged my existence.  Which wasn’t that big of a deal, but as the guys were all drunkenly yelling at each other and I couldn’t keep up with them, I was kinda bored.  Which is why I brought my computer, bc I’m not a retard, lol.  So instead of sulking I just went played with my computer, Regis or Fabian (his nice friend) would come check on me, but I was fine.  I would come back join them, get bored, and wander off again.  One girl, was so snotty I kinda wanted to slap her.  Every time I would say anything (in French) she would say to everyone else.. what what what did she say, I can’t understand her.. even though I could clearly understand what she was saying.  Grr.  And everyone else, had no issue understanding me, even the guys were like.. dude she obviously said ‘xyz’.  We finally had dinner at 130 am… the one girl has completely disappeared, the guy is now back.. the other girls are out looking for the one chick.  Then they come back and are super pissy because, the guys ate all the sausages (what did you think the drunk dudes were going to do while you were out ???) then the one girl got super mad bc the boys were rough housing with her dog.

Anyway, needless to say I retreated again, watched some TV and fell asleep on the sofa.  The snotty girl went home, the other chick went to bed.. and I watched tv and half fell out on the sofa.  Then Regis came and poked me to go home, we got in at 5/6am … up again in the morning to take his son over to Samuel’s house for lunch and an Easter egg hunt for the kids (lol hence my pouting, though Chloe scooped some chocolate for me).

I fell out on the couch after lunch, with the cat on my head, lol.  And then I wrote this bad boy, while the others sat about and chit chatted. J There you go, that was my weekend.. and .. there is a very serious threat of reconnecting my internet tomorrow, the technician is supposed to be over at 9 am tomorrow.   I may sleep until then.. zzzz

It’s so obvious that you’re an only child

You totally have only child syndrome. Why? Why is it obvious?  Actually, I have a brother and a couple of sisters, though I wasn’t raised with them.  I’ve always thought that this psychoanalysis of my personality was annoying and rude, but I never really bothered to look into it.  Well now I find it even more obnoxious, because neither have any of the people who fucking say it to me clearly.  It’s just something that they think they know about but clearly are just spouting out of their asses.  Making assumptions based on my personality traits, in no way taking into consideration my upbringing or family.

Sure I exhibit some of the traits of an only child, I was raised alone.. but at the same time in crucial points in my development I was living with other kids, my cousins for example.

 

So what has gotten bug in my ass about this now?  It’s not like people are coming up to me right now and making these asinine statements or at least not with any kind of regularity.  Well for one, I work with kids of all ages and have for about 10 years, so I’m going to go right ahead and say I feel pretty confident of the insight into kids behavior I have acquired over the years.  And plus, I’m part time living with a 2 year old ( not the most charming of creatures most of the time) who is an only child, and a wee bit spoiled (mom and grandma dote ).  Of course you have to factor in that he is only two… and some of that ‘charm’ is just the delights of the age… and truth be told, over all he’s a pretty nice kid.

 

So on to only children… I took this from an article online “Many of the negative attitudes towards only children are based on the following view that only children are:

• Over indulged
• Require constant attention
• Are selfish – and put their needs first
• Expect their needs to be instantly gratified
• Fear independence and leaving home
• Can’t empathize with others as their world revolves around themselves – in psychological terms narcissistic.

 

The Only Children I’ve known have all pretty much matched the clichés about children who had no siblings. Spoiled, bratty, self-centred, selfish, an odd sense of entitlement, difficult to get along with plus a tendency to say inappropriate things that are rude and ill-mannered. Yet being extremely hyper-sensitive and brittle about even the most remotely critical remark going in their direction.

 

Seriously… and people refer to me as having only child syndrome.. have they met me?

 

Over indulged… hardly, I learned from a young age that you can’t have everything because you can’t afford it.  I earned my own money even as a little kid, I never had an allowance, I was paid for specific tasks that were my jobs.  I didn’t work, I didn’t get shit.

 

Require constant attention… ok.. well you’ve got me there I am an attention whore.. but so is my sister and my nephew, neither of whom were raised as only children… I’m calling in genetics and the common demominator here… Hell even if mom claims it skipped her.. My grandma.. champion attention whore.. my aunt, my uncle.. terrible.. a thousand times worse than me … none of them only children.  So I’m going to have to call that a family trait.

 

Selfish… sure .. now.  I’ve been working on being selfish and taking care of myself first for years, and I still kind of suck at it.  I care about my people, and I would go to the moon and back to help them if I could.  I wrote a huge email to a friend of mine about learning to be selfish as an armor, a way to protect yourself from the hurts because no one else is going to look out for you, not before themselves.  So.. going to say no there too.

 

Expect their needs instantly gratified… ok sure.  But, lol honestly? In this day and age.. you show me someone that doesn’t apply to and I’ll show you a Tibetan monk or something of the like.  EVERYONE these days is ridiculous about the instant gratification…. Think it doesn’t apply to you? When did you last check, your facebook/email/phone for replies to things …. Mmmmhmmm that’s what I thought.  I don’t even know that it’s all that bad.. I mean especially for those of is overseas…. Facebook and the like are how we keep in touch and connected to those far away from us.  (speaking from recent experience, I never realized how hard it is being so far from family and friends when you can’t easily contact them).

 

Fear independence and leaving home… I’m just going to shake my head and chuckle here.

 

Can’t empathize with others… right.  Common complaint about me.. oh wait no.  Meanwhile I’m all teary bc people around me are sad or stressed, but I lack empathy.. eye roll.  I wish (sometimes)

 

I will admit my feelings are pretty easily hurt and it might be a symptom of being an only child, but I personally think it has more to do with the peer abuse I took all through my school years.  That left some ugly scars that still come out to bite me from time to time even today.

 

Interestingly, another thing I read said ”  “People articulate that only children are spoiled, they’re aggressive, they’re bossy, they’re lonely, they’re maladjusted,” she said. “There have been hundreds and hundreds of research studies that show that only children are no different from their peers.”^[8] Similarly, a popular belief is held that only children have aversive social skills, and therefore a harder time making friends. Based on a 2004 study of American middle and high school students, such beliefs were confirmed false.”

 

NAH…. Take that.

 

The thing that really got my goat, was that the one thing that most people use as their clinching proof that I am maladjusted because I was raised as an only child.  Is never mentioned, in any of the studies or articles I read (ok some I just skimmed but still).  What is this illustrious issue?  The fact that I really don’t like other people messing with my shit.  Turns out, and I’ve always said this, that has nothing to do with it.  It’s like mentioning the price of tea in china as evidence as to why my shoes are dirty.  What the fuck.  Dumb asses.  You want to know why I am so possessive of wait for it… my possessions?  Well one, their fucking mine and I value them, probably because they were either a gift or I worked hard to get them.  And two, I was raised that way.  When I was a wee little kid, my mom taught me, this is mine that is yours.  If it’s not yours, don’t touch it without asking.  Even now, I feel a little stab of guilt if I touch anything of someone’s without express permission even if I KNOW they don’t mind and I’m completely allowed.  And if they are there, I’ll probably ask again, just in case.  It’s not that I’m not willing to share, I’d let almost anyone use or share almost anything of mine, as long as they asked nicely… but don’t waltz into my room and just take it.  And then when I’m like.. dude what the fuck.. don’t pull that only child bullshit out.  Hell I think having siblings and being forced to fucking share EVERYTHING makes you way more MINE MINE MINE than being an only child does.

 

In conclusion, people are stupid.  That is all.  😀  ß– lol that last line .. completely made my day.

House of Cards.

It’s the stupidest thing, but I completely fell apart this evening.  After the frustration over the kid (who is must have some survival sense and is being quite nice), money, no internet at all, not even the ghetto phone stealing internet, problems with my credit card (which I now don’t have at all.. I have to wait 2-4 days for them to courier a new one to me), nothing ever open, and the stress of the future of my relationship (I’m trying hard to cross that bridge when I come to it, but people keep pointing and saying look at that.. whatcha going to do about that… jesus.. leave it).  I still managed to hold it all together, other than a little teary moment at his mom’s house.  We went over there to use the internet to pay the SFR bill to get everything connected, and as I mentioned in my last post their stupid website wouldn’t accept his, my or his mom’s card.  Which is completely insane, as all three cards work everywhere else. 

 

So what’s the straw that broke the camel’s back?  What is it that had me sobbing for hours, completely inconsolable? It’s so fucking retarded that I’m embarrassed all to hell… but it was my iPod.  Just as we were leaving his mom’s house, the stupid thing slipped out of my pocket ( I was sitting in a low chair) and hit the ground.. I thought nothing of it as it only dropped about a foot… maybe a little more but not by much.  I’ve dropped the thing a million times.. always my heart in my throat and nothing it’s fine… Well today had to be the day… you know the only day that I couldn’t handle any more bad news.  The fucking thing smashed all to shit.  One corner is completely fucked and there are shatter and spider lines over more than a 1/3 of the screen.  The only thing holding it all together and keeping tiny shards of glass from falling all over and slicing me to bits is the screen protector sticker thingies.

 

Now in the grand scheme of things.. it totally sucks, but it’s really not that big of a deal… it’s going to cost me some coin to get the glass replaced and that hurts.  But it’s not like it’s gone, or actually broken.  Honestly it’s fine, everything works.. it’s just the glass is broken and it looks ghetto.  (if not for the plastic cover it would be dangerous and slice the fuck out of my hand.. but even that’s not a problem).  But seriously, I have no internet, and I read… I dunno, like a book every day or two.  And now the screen is all smashed so reading sucks.  Plus.. I hate it when my things are jacked.  I get completely heartbroken every time I look at it, but I don’t really have anything else to look at.  Talk about a cycle of poo.  Then every time I look at it, I feel like crap (which is clearly just the outlet for all my other stress and stuff) but I think “hey buck up, it’s not that big of a deal” then I wonder how much it’ll cost to fix.  Because knowing the details makes me feel like I can handle things, but then I realize I can’t look it up online or contact apple to find out.  Then I think, well I could just call… oh no.. I can’t even call a friend to cheer myself up…. Downward spiral.  I give myself a little mental slap, blow my nose, pick up my iPod to read my book…cue beginning of the spiral again.  I was such a wreck that Regis tried to comfort me, but you know how that goes.. you’re falling apart, someone is kind and you lose it even more.  Lol

So he took my iPod away from me, so I’d stop looking at it.  That helped me distance myself from how silly I was being.  Then I went for a walk, because I’d left it too late to go for a run, and I really wasn’t feeling up to it but according to my challenge I need to do something.  Actually it was good, I feel a lot better now.

 

But man, today has just not been my day… it’s only 830 and I kind of want to cut my losses and just go to bed….  Tomorrow will be a new day, a better day.  Even if I have to beat the day all the hell and force it to be .. it’ll do my bidding and be good, damnit.

 

Now if only I could post this bad boy.. but I can’t.. sigh.

We’re not in Kansas anymore

That amuses the hell out of me especially since I’ve never been to Kansas.  Every place has it’s little things, things that ultimately bug you, or cause culture shock in the end.    (let me insert a warning here.. this started out as an innocent commentary on life here.. and turns into a bitch fest because I’ve been getting ouber frustrated lately.. I wrote the first couple of paragraphs weeks ago.. and the rant fest that follows all today… )

So what’s the deal with France? How does it compare to my memories of the place? Well luckily the last time I was here was a long time ago, long enough that all my travels and experiences since have worn the shininess of off that memory.  Don’t get me wrong, little things like a metro station that I remember, spark little moments of total glee and excitement that can only be remnants of my first trip abroad.  But for the most part I didn’t have grand expectations, so what’s it like?  Well on the surface, at first glance, well let’s put it this way.  Ever been to Canada?  Was it in the early 80’s, in the countryside? BAM That’s where I live right now.. (Seriously no shit).

Ok obviously it isn’t the same as Canada, but it’s shockingly similar.  Keep in mind, this is from the girl who lives in Asia, so that is probably a factor in the perceived similarity.  But still, the weather, the landscapes…. Southern BC/Alberta.  Hand on my heart, I have some photos of the drive my mom and I took over the summer, through the south of BC up through Alberta.  And I swear to you sometimes it looks exactly the same.

Ok and here is the thing that really gets my goat… Nothing is ever open.  I’ve heard a lot about how France has greta labour laws and the pay is good for the amount of work you have to do.. plus lots of holidays etc.  BUT what you don’t hear about is how nothing is ever open, because of these same labour laws having people work outside of the tiny amount they do work costs the company far more than it’s worth.  So nothing is open after 7 pm, or on Sunday.  You’re fucking kidding me. No I swear, most places close for lunch (not restaurants obviously) they open at 9pm and close at 5 or six. And a surprisingly high number of people are unemployed, why because there are no fucking jobs because nothing is ever fucking open.  Oh did I mention most stores also close on Monday because they were open on Saturday, for a couple of hours, not even a full day?   Even in the 80’s in butfucknowhere Canada shit was open on MONDAY.   It’s absolutely mind boggling to me.

Literally, the gas station attendant, gone at lunch.. the bank closes at lunch… how the fuck is anyone who has a fucking job ever supposed to do anything because of the labour laws EVERYONE works the same hours and have the same time off.  And don’t even get me started on the internet phone company.  What really gets me, is everyone just goes along with it, when I point out how ludicrous it all is, they just shrug and sheeple it off.  0.0  Well that’s how it is.. um kick a fuss and change it?  Nah just wait 6 months, it’ll sort itself out.  WHAT?!?!

Oh and I know this is a huge case of culture shock.. but COME ON how can it be this fucking hard to get an icecream??? All I wanted was a shop with the different flavours, chose by the scoop and pay too much, ice cream or gelato.. and no nothing.. looked for ages and I was literally this close to tears because I have had a lot of frustration and all I wanted was the simple pleasure of ice cream but no.  (This craving was finally satisfied the other week when we went to the beach.. apparently the only place in the country to buy icecream.. Which is retarded bc the beach was fucking freezing and everywhere else is all toasty and warm…logic fail)… you guys know how close you are to Switzerland home of movenpick (hands down the best icecream I’ve had) and Germany (no slouches in the iceycreaminess department.)

Lets talk about my internet service for a minute, or the lack there of.  Some have heard this already, but here is the game we have been playing with SFR since we went to Paris… yes a month and half ago.. rapidly

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Life would be so much simplier

If only I could just ‘settle down’ and want what most people want. Perhaps we’re all doomed to secretly long for something we don’t or can’t have, I don’t really believe that. But I also don’t think it should be this complicated or difficult. Le sigh.

Seriously though, while out I was thinking how much simpler my life would be if I wanted the things that I am ‘supposed’ to want. Such as: kids, a husband, a house with a yard and garage, a normal settled down family life.… yadda yadda. The whole prospect bores me to tears. I genuinely dislike children, and honestly in spite of those who go on about biological clocks, as I get older I’m even less enchanted with rug rats. I freely admit I like kids in certain doses, but it seems I also like it if it’s regulated like with teaching. I’m disgustingly fond of the majority of my students, but just hanging out all day with people’s kids drives me bananas… Like here for example, because I’m often the girl in the group the kids usually come to me and yammer at me in French. What? Hu? Don’t bloody mumble… no you can’t use my computer, which I have already told you 15 times. God what do you want now… I don’t know where your damn toys are go look for them yourself. Oh so go to the car and get them… why the hell do I have to go with you.. turn on the light.. or how about ask your father… yes that guy over there … JESUS WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW… go away… You know I think most old people are just pretending to be deaf so they don’t have to listen to you. (lol none of this is my boyfriend’s kid, he’s a whole different can of worms).

I do not want kids. Let me repeat that for the slow among you. I do not … in anyway want to procreate, rip my bits asunder having a baby, just to be tied… pretty much forever to someone who I may grow to hate. That’s another thing I don’t get… people usually think long and hard before getting married, well some do anyway. But they don’t give it’s a moment’s thought before having a kid with someone. Um hello, at least with marriage if it turns out to be a grievous error you can

Wait… why is that one red?

I looked back and I never wrote about this.  A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook about how he accomplished a lot the other including doing an AIDS test.  Which reminded me of my most recent test.  When Regis was talking about coming back to Taiwan and obviously we were discussing getting together for reals, we had discussed our sexual histories.  You know as most people do, and for both of us, there were a couple of little blips on the radar, not actual serious risky behavior.  But a few things that were well… worth looking into… if you know what I mean.  Chuckle, anyway I insisted that he get tested before coming to Taiwan, you know because I’m bossy.   All the while hoping the idea that I should get tests might slip his mind…. Because.. I hates the coochie doctor.  I hates him/her so much that the last time I went to get a pap and fully battery of tests… I never went back to get the results.  LOL.  Plus they disappeared and I didn’t know where they had moved to (weee problem solved as I didn’t want to go anyway).

Well it turns out that they had moved closer to the hospital, or so Tracey told me.  Poop.  Anyway about a week before Regis arrived he mentioned that he got his results back, all clean.  And then he asked me about if I had been tested recently, and didn’t I think I should probably get tested too?  SULK.

So I went to the vajaja doctor, got my results from last time… nothing interesting according to the doctor.  And was retested… Had to suffer through a seriously wooogy feeling for the whole rest of the day… bleh I shudder to think of it even now.  And then follows, the mental parade of every sexual partner ever. Because you know, past tests might have missed something from years ago, and what about toilet seats, and sharing drinks and… spiral of ridiculous panic.  Pierced now and then by the little voice that insists everything is fine.  I swear the day before I went to go get the results, I was a secret wreck.  But I went in, and there was no icky chair to sit in, my pap was normal and they handed my STD results with the comment everything looks normal.  As the doctor is going down the list telling me what all the little codes are for, all in blue….  I notice one is in red… HOLD on a minute.

Red is bad, RED??  Why is it red.  The doctor is all, oh it’s nothing… anyway this is.  HANG ON… why is it red.  It’s a positive result…. wtf???  What in god’s name did I test positive for?????

Stupid oral herpies.  Hence the doctor was like it doesn’t matter, I’ve probably had it my whole life and it’s never showed on a test because they usually don’t even bother testing for it.  And the results were a very faint positive result.  I was still completely floored, I mean I’ve heard that it can piggy back on the chicken pox virus and that most people who have had chicken pox will test positive for oral herpies.  But still.  I’ve never even had a cold sore.  The doc pointed out they only come out when you’re immune system is low, you’re tired sick ect… been there… done that.  Still never had a cold sore.  Grumble.

When I bitch about it, I’m told that everyone in my family that has ever been tested for it has tested positive….. chuckle but only my aunt and cousin get cold sores.

Oh well, at least I only seem to carry the virus, doesn’t effect me. But that line of red on the test kinda bugs me.  Sulk.

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Why I’ll never be a Yogi

Well for starters I fucking hate yoga… ok that’s a little strong …. but i honestly don’t like doing it…. And while I do have some very cool yogi friends, I find them to be the exception to the annoying hippy rule.

So why this vauguely cunty post? lol It was just something I was pondering while skittering around on the black ice and feeling the burning in my lungs bc I’m a pussy and a have stupid little lung problems that prevent me from breathing nicely in the cold.   IT causes me all kinds of fun lung pain to run in the cold, not to mention trying to sort clothes to wear (I’d like to point out that it’s only like minus 2, I know wussie)… plus there is the pure thrill of running a road that randomly has patches of invisible ISANELY slippery ice.. good times

Add in the fact that the majority of drivers here react to a runner on the road like city folk react to a black bear on the side of the road, ie stupidly… why in gods name would I venture outside and go for a run?  I spent all this money and this yoga mat…   And there is a wall of windows with sun streaming in… perfect…

Yet .. it seems I’d actually rather torture myself that do the damn yoga.    Don’t get me wrong , like most exercise when you force yourself to ‘get out’ and do it… you feel good, at least when you’re done.  But yeah I just haven’t been able to force myself to pull out the matt, I react to it mentally like a petulant little child… internally pouting, stomping and shouting ‘don’t wanna’….

So much so that I went out today.. skittering about on the ice.. and am sitting on the couch still nursing my ouchy lungs ( like what do you do for THAT??) And all I can think is… gee I hope it warms up soon so I can go running like everyday… and force myself to do yoga… 2-3 times a week.

So yeah…. I’ll never be a yogi….  but it does make me appreciate the love hate love relationship I have with running:  and the hate love hate I have for biking, if only I could get over my hate hate hate relationship with swimming perhaps I could actually do a triathlon one day…

That is all, and now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Tough Decisions… and moving on (prt 3)

Funnily when I broached the topic of coming to France we ended up having a big argument and, I thought, pretty much breaking up.  Which I found to be pretty ironic, here I am considering and offering to leave my job to move to France to explore our relationship, and he’s all I dunno, it’s a bad time, etc.  Anyway it ended up coming out that he was stressed out about somethings and it wasn’t that he didn’t want me to come to France it was more that he was worried about money and me being bored in France etc. That it was more an issue of timing than anything else.  Obviously we worked all that out, and I went to my boss to let him know.  I was actually sorta dreading it, I thought there would be a big kerfuffle as I was basically leaving with a little more than a month’s notice.  But surprisingly my boss was super supportive and agreed to help me out with it.   lol although he did make some crack to the effect of my not coming back because they wanted me to be happy yadda yadda… Then the next month or so was just me getting ready to go and finishing my work.

I also decided to try to get a sublet-er while I was away, and luckily I found this really nice Dutch girl to take my room for the whole time I’m gone.  And everything just sorta fell into place.  The only huge hiccup was it turned out my ARC was about going expire, and I was panicking about getting it renewed before I left.  I got the application in, but they told me there was absolutely no way to get the card before I left… fuck.  So I had them mail it to me… I figured I would get Rob to send it to me in France and hopefully that would be alright.  Then I had all of Chinese New Year to stew and do nothing because nothing was open.. and on monday did all that last minute stuff like going to the dentist before my insurance expired and calling immigration to make sure my whole arc by mail plan wasn’t retarded.

Turns out, that yes they don’t care about your ARC when you leave (I was absolutely certain that I never show it when I exit, everyone just thinks they have to.  And I was right) they just want to see it on your reentry.   And then… strangest thing checked the mail Tuesday morning on my way out to get the mail.. and wtf it’s my ARC in the mail.  No way no how could I get it before leaving and then it comes in the mail… fucking nut bars. I mean don’t get me wrong yay… it made a bunch of stuff easier having it but all that stress for nothing… wankers.

… to be continued

Taiwan and the New Boy (prt 2)

Continuing from last time, He arrived.  It was a little nerve wracking, but also exciting and cool.   I wish I could give you a more blow by blow of the following weeks and months, but honestly the details are all a little blurry to me.

I can tell you that he’s a really nice guy, like freakishly so, but not without his fault.  He gets a little bossy sometimes, which caused a bit of conflict.  But honestly, most of our issues and conflicts stemmed … actually I guess it’s stem, from communication problems.  Either we’d misunderstand something language wise, or it would just be one of those difference communication styles that sometimes clash.  But usually after a little tiff, snippiness or irritation, we’d walk away and then come back later and both be all apologies and sorrys.

Actually something I totally recall thinking at one point, was that I wasn’t all gooey and doe eyed.  That at no point did I think everything is perfect and yay I adore you.  And I couldn’t decide if it was due to my being older and not lame and doe eyed.. or is it because everything is deeply flawed so much that it pierces the beginning of a relationship glow?  I worried about that idly in the back of my mind for a while, but I decided that it was more because of being a grown up.  It’s more that I have my eyes more open than I have in the past, or at least that’s what seems to be true as time goes on.

Anyway, sometime before the end of the second month, I was sure that I really enjoyed spending time with him but I was equally certain that I wasn’t sure enough about our relationship to be in anyway ready to give up and leave my life behind.  Not yet anyway, a couple of months together just wasn’t enough for me to give up 10 years of my life, know what I mean?   I wanted, needed more time.   But what to do?

I had originally thought about running away and going traveling after Chinese new year, but then I realized that it wasn’t very fiscally responsible.  I mean I had borrowed some money to pay off the balance of my Credit card and paying a set amount of interest.  And by Chinese New Year I would have saved more than enough money to pay off all of my debt, debt free.  Not something that I was really expecting to see this side of 40.

But now there is this great guy who dropped everything to try to see where things could go with us.  I want to know too, so I thought about taking a semester off of work.   Good idea, bad? Was the timing right, I hemmed and hawed.  I mean I was about to be debt free, and if I went to Europe now that would mean going straight back into debt.  But then again looking for work in the summer, is much better than any other time… and I can’t be certain that I will have a job when I get back.  EEK

…..  To be continued.   😉

What to say? (prt 1)

See here’s the problem, it’s been so long and so much has happened, but at the same nothing has really happened so I have no idea what to say.  Everything seems like an irrelevant detail just by virtue of being old information to me.

And before you get all up in arms about how it’s all new info to you, think that I have talked to some people at points about one thing or the other… le sigh. Plus all I want to talk about at this second is my new love Mr computer… lol such a techno whore.

Well I guess I’ll just go back and look at the last thing I wrote and then wrack my swiss cheese memory for details from then (I have time and nothing else to do because I’m sitting in the lazer clinic waiting to wait some more for the shortest procedure ever… the lazering itself take.. 5? 10? minutes but the waiting, and then the waiting to wait etc takes fucking hours..  Stupid.

Ha so I just went back and looked … no wonder everyone is so grouchy.. not a personal post in yonks.. But in all fairness just before Regis arrived I was yapping on the phone to anyone who would listen to me… lol so I felt like I had communicated a lot. Hmmm Regis decided to come back to Taiwan because he wanted a chance to try to see if there was any possibility with us and I decided that it was ok, because while I am a coward he really was doing the hard part.

The weeks leading up to his arrival were fun with the anticipation but I really didn’t know what to be expecting.  Then he arrived, I took the afternoon off to go meet him at the airport and I was fine until waiting for him to come through security, then I was basically standing there trying to look pretty and not panicked.   Once he actually arrived it was a little weird but significanly less scary than I thought.

The language issue was and still is a problem, but from day one it wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned.

This ends part one……

tee hee

Ps… the lazer clinic blogging ended pretty much as soon as it happened because the chick dragged me in the other room.

This is not the post you’re looking for….

Yes, I’m aware that everyone would really like to know what’s happen with my personal life, the not so new anymore boyfriend, leaving my job for four months, moving to France for that time … etc.  But tough… lol I don’t wanna write about that right now so neener (It’s my blog I’ll write what I wanna).

So today I went to dinner with Tony and Joel, and played a game after dinner.  Then rushed over to 3C, a local electronics store, to try to by a new laptop (netbook).  Now here is the things about 3C, they have this silly membership thing going on and then you supposedly get much better prices on electronics.  Now the reality is they are a little cheaper than many other stores, IF you get the member price (membership isn’t free mind you, you have to pay for it).  But if you don’t get the membership price then it ends up a bit more expensive than another store.

So every time I go there I play the stupid foreigner card, like I cruse up to the till and then seem deeply perplexed that the price isn’t as advertised.  They explain it’s due to the membership price and as I don’t have a membership I don’t get that price.  Now at this point I used to continue to play stupid and pout a little until they gave up and gave me the member price, but honestly I don’t have the patience for that anymore.  So, when they ask for my membership card I tell them I don’t have one, followed in the same breath with, but they always give me the membership price.

I do it so quick they usually don’t have anytime to think about it.. and merely blink a couple of times… say… “oh Zhan zhi? Uh.. Hao” Which basically translates to “oh, it’s like that? Uh.. ok”.  They look a little unsure for a second and then completely fold like a house of cards in a stiff breeze.  😀  On occasion I run into a hardass or a wannabe hardass who is a stickler for the rules, at which point I just point out that I don’t have to buy my things here and if they can’t be co-operative I won’t.  They almost always cave then, honestly I think in ten years there has been one occasion where I just left the store not buying anything… and simply went to another of their stores (it’s a huge chain).

On occasion they have very good prices and especially after Chinese New Year, you know how after Christmas back home they clear out old stock, same deal here just it happens after Chinese New Year I guess.  Anyway They have a web page that they guy at the store showed me and I spend a bunch of time pootling about on there.  www.tkec.com.tw, it’s actually pretty good if you read Chinese or your browser translates for you.

I was supposed to buy my new computer (a new small laptop) in France because Regis found a some really good prices online in France.  But the computer that I wanted went up in price in France and dropped here.  So VOILA I get a new toy right now! Win.

As I said I went to 3C and unfortunately they didn’t have the exact model I wanted new, so I could have a display model or get a new one a little bit less pimp (sniffle) and save 3000nt (hundred dollars Canada).  But again it’s the membership price, but I rolled over him right at 10pm (just as they were closing) and just informed him that I always get the member price. DONE.  And I got an extra 1000 nt off (well actually the price online was 1000 less than the posted price in the store), WIN.  And when I asked at the original store they told me that it would cost 1500 to upgrade the ram from 2gig to four gigs, but this guy upgraded my ram to 4gigs for only an extra 600nt.  So that means, 10999 plus 600 for a total of 11599 yay, WIN.  That ends up being 3600nt (120cad) cheaper than the computer was going to cost me in France, for a computer that’s a bit better (slightly upgrade CPU, bigger hard drive).

I love getting a deal, possibly more than I love having new toys.  So I get double joy here, new toy to play with and I totally scored a great deal.  Tralala.

Ok it’s Friday which means that a few things are open now and I need to run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything done.  😀  Hopefully will post again this weekend.

fuck you wordpress

i just wrote an update.. and when trying to work out the new layout .. it deleted the whole thing not draft saved nothing…

 

fuck you very much wordpress .. dont’ know when i’ll have time again… sigh..

things are going well.. sorry I’ll try later this week.. grumble

Dear Royal Bank: Fail

So I had some financial woes of late, it’s a long story but essentially something happened to my bank account and I had to rush and put all my money on my credit card.  But then there was no money in my account to make their metered out payments, and it was around Chinese New Year so that means no real money coming in for a month or so to send money home.

Anyway it was a bit of a mess, and when I tried to talk to them about it, all they would do is spout parroted bullshit with out any thought.   That’s assuming they would talk to me at all and not be incredibly rude and condescending.   So I ended up just writing it off, I’d make a payment when I was able to send money home.  Normally that would be in a month, two tops… but because of Chinese New Year it ended up taking 3 months to get enough money together to be worth sending home.

My card got cut off, and no one called me or informed me of what was happening.  The only reason I even found out was because I couldn’t update apps on my ipod, and when I called the bank, everyone I talked to was unbelievable rude.  Like I was some sort of  degenerate who had be accumulating mountains of debt and paying nothing for years, as opposed to I missed two payment I live overseas and I contacted then and let them know in advance.  Assholes.

I got pissed off with the rudeness and  asked to be transferred to someone else with manners.  After much BS I finally got someone who didn’t have their head in their ass, got everything sorted out and then I specifically asked if I was going to be running into any other issues or problems in relation to this situation.  I was assured that I wouldn’t and happily went about my life.

Oh another unforeseen shit fest was, I applied for a loan online but wasn’t able to complete it, it would have paid off my credit card and been at a much lower interest rate.  I needed to be in Canada and walk into a bank to sign the papers, but then all this happened and temporarily screwed my credit rating so I couldn’t get the loan while I was home.. most annoying part?  My credit rating corrected within 2-3 months when I was no longer in the country… annoying.

Then, in August they jack my interest rate.. ASSHOLES.  I pay for a low interest rate card and then they bump my interest up…dicks.  I call, pitch a fit and am again treated like a complete piece of shit.  I progressively get more pissed off, and finally get someone polite who agrees that the bank actually screwed up, but she’s not high enough up to change or fix anything.  She promises to talk to people and call me back.  No call, they have completely failed at communicating with and getting back to me.  GRRR

So I call again, pitch a bit of a fit, and insist on speaking to manager, they have taken another installment of interest at this ridiculous rate and everyone is so rude.  There is no manager on, but this girl takes the whole story down and swears someone will call in 24-48 hours max.  Four days later no god damn call.

Now in this time, it occurs to me that I really should just tell them to stuff it.  I mean if I let the card default, let it go into collections, wait a while then contact collections  I can pay it back at 30-50 cents on the dollar.  So I get to keep my money now, don’t have to borrow money from my friend and i’m kinda debt free now.  BITCHES.  sure it messes up my credit rating, in a country I don’t live in and have no intentions of going back to anytime soon.  Shrug, what do I care?

And if I wasn’t such a god damn goodie two shoes…. that is exactly what I would do.  So lame, I wish I was badder…. but given how badly Visa was behaving  I was ready to be bad.

But.. sigh… this week I called and actually got someone intelligent and polite on the phone, who listened to me rant and actually tried to fix things.  Returned the last interest payment (the interest rate had already been fixed) so they returned all they money they took illegitimately plus some.  When I said wasn’t really enough, I got a genuine apology and he offered me a different card with some points that would give me some merch.

Honestly, it still isn’t enough but I’m damn well taking it, I will pay my visa off.  But I am definitely going to investigate other banks credit cards and what they can do for me.  I’m a good customer, and they don’t seem to get that.

I have paid the thing off, but I’m completely unimpressed.

Daddy Issues

Sometime I make jokes about having daddy issues but all the wrong kind.  Well at least the wrong kind to make me be the kind of girl that makes guys swoon over the daddy issue.  Mine don’t push me to be a stripper or hooker or any of the other silly things that other people seem to think that having daddy issues get you.

Having had some time to think about it.. everyone has daddy issues in one way or another.  It’s just  a fact of life.

Mine are of a slightly different flavour, and recently I had an interesting thought or observation on the same topic.  So what’s my deal?  Well I’m sorta daddy free, I grew up without him in my life and I didn’t meet him until I was an adult.  To be honest I don’t think I was missing much, I am not very fond of him and because I didn’t grow up with him I don’t have the tolerance for his garbage.  It’s a lot different when you have history with someone, you’re much more likely to put up with them and their crap or craziness.  But if you just meet them one day and they annoy the hell out of you and have all these expectations on you… well why  would you stick around?

This is not to say I didn’t grow up with strong male figures in my life, I wasn’t actually raised in a single parent home… more like a three or more parent home.  My mom and I lived with my aunt and uncle for more than a year when I was little, my mom’s brother (other uncle) was in and out of the picture  around then too.   Then my mom moved to Smithers with her parents, so for most of my life I grew up with three parents, my mom, grandma and grandpa…  The Aunt and Uncle I lived with came out every year… my other uncle lived with us all on and off for years.

So I basically had two moms and like 2-3 dads.  Or three halfs.. which still adds up to more than one :D.  Score!  Anyway, clearly this all adds up to daddy issues of a sort.  What it really means in the grand scheme of things I have no idea.. but it brought up an interesting question for me.

Have you ever noticed that most people tend to date versions of their parents?  Not in a creepy sense, but just aspects of their relative’s personalities.  Honestly reflect on your dating persp

The Secret Apple

So there is this book at school… and there are just no words…  So I’ll post the pictures instead.  Only in Taiwan.. I swear… the best part was the reason we found the book in the first place was another teacher was reading stories to the kids and got half way through the book and then realized… WHOA

Oh, you have got to be kidding me…

God damn it… I’ve been bamboozled, tricked, bloody well girl-ed.  We all know women are evil, conniving… tricky creatures.  I’ve never been one for the game myself, I tend to be be too impatient to play the game.  Often to my detriment  really… if I were better at being patient or the whole subtle manipulation game.. I’d prolly have gotten my way more often in the past (tho in the long run it’s probably been for the best).

Well  I’ve just realized that I’ve totally been girl-ed … lol.. I would be pissed but it’s just so damn amusing.   Plus it’s not necessarily a bad thing.  I just kinda can’t believe I didn’t see it.

Someone, those of you in the know already know who, has been putting up a certain amount of resistance and making arguments to the contrary but ultimately has been agree with me.  Or even when they haven’t been agreeing with me, they have at least conceded to my point.  Expressing that while they might not agree with my point or perspective, they can see my point and will go along with xy or z.     Telling me that they would like, it a different way but they will go along with my way.

Ha.. I win.. excellent as it should be.  And I didn’t need to use trickery or any of the like to get it either.  Tralala….  I can do whatever I want, regardless of what that means.  😀

But somehow.. I’ve been completely manipulated into a corner.. and the most obnoxious part? I don’t even really mind.. that’s the part that really chaps my ass.  Not only did  I get snaked  into a situation that I very clearly said I didn’t want to be in, it’s one that I actively disagree with.  In general and in principal…. yet… balls.  Here I am.

I have been completely womaned…. They agreed with me every step of the way…. and somehow they have gotten their way. Completely.

Son of a Bitch… maybe I should really consider this technique for myself… it’s bloody effective.  😀

So amused that I’m a complete and utter failure to my sex. GRIN

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Yay

It’s official, November 4th 🙂

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What if… what if…?

I wrote a post a little while back called “Why not?” so why this what if post?

Because, while I have been embracing the world of why not.  A few weeks back I realized that I was bogging myself with what if’s.  Also known as letting my concerns and fears rule my life and hold me back from my why nots.

While Ray was visiting we had a pretty good chat about life and stuffs, and suddenly it hit me.  The whole point of  why not is to do things that are fun and just go with the flow.  Not be bogged down in my own head.  First test fail.. lol

But back on the why not horse, and while at times I may be chanting it a little frantically in my head, it is a much happier and fun life (so far).

😀