Dinner with THE ex…

4 08 2009

Well that was interesting, potentially very bad but things turned out just fine.  I was honestly very hesitant to meet up with Erik (my ex), for a number of reasons but primarily because of our past.  I just didn’t know what feelings meeting up with him would bring up, I spent a lot of years getting over everything that happened.  And I thought I was over it many times but not until recently was it really the case.  I guess I was afraid that I “thought” I had gotten over it but meeting up with him would make everything real and bring it all back.

Ultimately what I decided was that meeting up for a drink was a good thing.  One of two things would happen, everything would be fine I really am OK now and it would be interesting to reconnect with an old friend.  Or, it would suck, all kinds of yucky resentments, fears and hard feelings would surface and I would get really upset.  Not the positive aspects of the first outcome is pretty clear, the second might not be so apparent to the casual observer.  There were a lot of hard feelings, resentment, and general mess-ed-up-ed-ness on my part, and honestly I over it.  All of it, I can talk about it freely with out emotional distress, I’m really fine.  But.. if, IF there were some residual issues and crap that I hadn’t addressed, more things I had swept under the rug of life.. this would sure as hell bring them out.

I’ll be honest, I was mighty hesitant to meet up.  But as I already explained, it really was in my best interest.

Now for those of you who know the story (some or all) you’ve always heard me say, that in-spite of everything that happened he was a good person and didn’t mean everything that happened.  And I am right, meeting up with Erik again was actually very nice, we had dinner and drinks and chatted about life.  I told him I almost said no, because I hated him for years but I was over it and thought it would be good to meet up.  I have never, in my life, seen anyone so truly sorry for what they have done.  He even said he was honestly a little surprised (pleased though) that I had agreed to see him, because he didn’t deserve forgiveness.  (or something like that)

Actually, I tried to apologize for some of the moderately horrid things i said when we were together.  I say tried because he cut me off and said I had nothing to apologize for, he didn’t even expect my forgiveness, and everything that happened was his fault.  We didn’t talk about it much, i just said he was young and stupid.  I was in the past and I’m over it now.  The only explanation he gave was he was just stupid, and thinking only of himself, when he was thinking at all.

I ended up staying in the spare room at his house in Oakville, because he was nice enough to offer me a ride to Niagra Falls in the morning (which is where I am writing this right now)  Initially there was no way I was going to stay at his place, but he was very nice, respectful and kept his distance, which added up to my being cool.  Plus it just made more sense.  We went for a nice breakfast in the morning and drove to the falls where, he dropped me off and went to work.

All in all, a good and pleasant encounter.  Plus I’m very pleased that I really am ok with ‘it all’ now.  I’ll probably stay in touch a bit more now 🙂 although as you all know I suck at that sometimes.

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7 responses

5 08 2009
marcus

I don’t believe it. He hit that. No doubt. In the guest room. hahahaha

5 08 2009
Magdalicious

Chuckle, if you knew the WHOLE story, which I’m not getting into because it’s in the past and he feels bad enough about it. You would realize that would so never be possible 🙂

7 08 2009
Erik

It was fun and enlightening to meet up with Magu after about 8 years of distance. All of you reading this would know her well enough to understand why I wanted her to still be a part of my life. She is still the wildly fun, super special full of fire and life girl I knew. Glad I have grown up.

Glad you had fun out here in Toronto Magda

And no marcus I didn’t, and wouldn’t hit “that”

9 08 2009
Magdalicious

Thanks Erik:)

8 08 2009
Dee

Oh Mag… I actually have tears in my eyes.

Until you spent time with Erik again, you truly didn’t know if you were “good with it”. Now you know. I’m so happy for you that you have that closure and are able to see Erik for who he is today.

As someone myself who has a rocky past, I appreciate anyone who can put it behind and get on with life and learn that people grow up and aren’t the same person.

Sounds like that dinner was exactly what was needed… on both sides.

Hey, Erik… nice to meet you!

Dee

9 08 2009
Magdalicious

Yeah, that’s how I feel about it too.

31 08 2009
Letters Last Night « Magdalicious … the blog

[…] I mentioned in ‘Dinner with THE ex…” I met up with him this trip to Canada, for the first time in 8 years.  It was good to see […]

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