How do you deal?

15 02 2009

There are several different thoughts on how people should deal with different ‘negative’ feeling. Some people feel that the right course of action is to suppress everything and put on a happy face for the masses. Others like to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

What’s the right way to do it? Should you just put on a brave face and push on through… hiding and denying what you feel? What happens when the damn bursts?

Or should you just let it all out?

They all make sense in different ways.

I still don’t know what’s the best way… but I suspect just embracing what ever it is you’re feeling is better for you.

A while back, something happened that really broke my heart. I was devastated. Now what I usually do is put on a brave face, have a few little breakdowns. For the most part I even lie to myself. I insist to my self that I’m fine… but there is a deep well of sadness in me. That particular time, I didn’t pretend I just WALLOWEd… I gave a time limit I had 4 days to fully embrace my sadness, wear it roll in it.. And it was the strangest thing.. after three days I felt great. I’m sure I would have been sad and depressed for weeks had I don’t the normal thing.

So now in theory I prescribe to the ‘feel it for all your worth’ mentality for sadness.

But what about anger? If you’re angry do the same rules apply? Should you embrace the rage? or let it go… Embracing the rage just seems to fuel the fire, what was a mild irritation or frustrations becomes a raging inferno. What if you already have a dangerously bad temper? In theory let it burn and it will burn it’s self out… but what if you have the ability to find fuel for the fire and it just keep building. Sounds kinda scary to me.

Especially as I know what kind of temper I have and the truely frightening things I’m capable of when angry. Yeah I have a bad temper and I’m a bit of a hot head, I get frustrated and flare up angrily quite easily and quickly. But I’m not REALLY angry in those situations. I get mad, FLAME, and then I’m good, it only takes me minutes to chill. When I’m really angry… yeah let’s just say not good, it doesn’t happen often and I try to keep it that way.

Anyway I’m just curious how people deal with different things.

I’ve been feeling down lately… but it’s not because of any one thing and I don’t really know how to deal with it.. I was a hermit today.. and I’m going on a bike trip tomorrow.. shrug.. I really just want to hide in my room.

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6 responses

15 02 2009
dee

I’m of the “fake it till you make it” mindset. Unless it comes to grief. I give mysself a time limit and wallow, then dust myself off and move on.

Anger? It never lasts long for me anyways.

15 02 2009
bex

Hey Beautiful, I say (not always do) that the sadness and negative moments need to be dealt with, one way is completly remove your self from the situation, I mean mega reboot, then if still needed walk, talk to your self, let it out, cry. Then I like to take a look and see “really how bad is it” I know that is a hard one to do to yourself but I find it works. Otherwise you know my # anytime babe, we will self council you know it. With the anger, work it out, run, dance, kick box whatever it takes, to get that engergy out till your so exhasted you cry. that it make the anger go. I don’t like to let it build up thats only dangerous for me.

and Remeber, I loOVes you and you are beautiful!!!!
Bex

15 02 2009
Magdalicious

@ Dee… are you sure you’re related… no anger.. J’accuse FIBBER.. I think the fake it till you make it works nicely for many things… but some thing I think really need to be embraced and dealt with. I guess what those things are for everyone 🙂 hugs

@ Bex Awe thanks pudding! hugs

15 02 2009
tracey

I think you already know how I deal with anger. Things that piss me off, I talk to the person about and try to reach a solution. If a solution is impossible and I can’t just let the thing that’s upsetting me slide and it keeps happening repetitively, I cut that out of my life.
With regards to being upset/sad, I deal with that much less productively. I think I tend to “fake, fake, fake” until the dam bursts, then I cry, and talk and then everything feels fine.

15 02 2009
Nadine

I find that holding my emotions in may make me feel better for the moment, but they keep coming back until I deal with them. How? With sadness and depression, I’m an “ugly-crier” – I just go in my room where the kids can’t see me and cry until I just can’t cry anymore. Clears my head and helps me think straight. I hear you about the anger, and I have to be so careful, again, because I don’t want to be the kind of mother I had and just rage whenever the impulse hits. I will usually give myself a minute or two alone, removed from the situation (if possible), take a couple of breaths and think “Is this as big of a deal as I think it is?” Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t, but I have to give myself a chance to think rationally. Someone once told me that anger is just fear in disguise – is it possible in some situations that you are afraid of something? Hugs to you, sweetie 🙂

16 02 2009
Dave

AC-CENT-TCHU-ATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)

(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

(To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark)

Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm?

(Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin’ of the negative
And the accent on the positive)
And gather ’round me children if you’re willin’
And sit tight while I start reviewin’
The attitude of doin’ right

(You’ve gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between)

You’ve got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark

Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

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