Being responsible.

28 03 2006

     Which I haven’t.   I am aware I have a problem and often choose to ignore it because you know it’s just a sillt little thing. No big deal.

                   SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)
It is caused by a biochemical imbalance in the hypothalamus due to the shortening of daylight hours and the lack of sunlight in winter.
For many people SAD is a seriously disabling illness, preventing them from functioning normally without continuous medical treatment.
For others, it is a mild but debilitating condition causing discomfort but not severe suffering. We call this subsyndromal SAD or ‘winter blues.

     Now I suspect I’m somewhere in the middle. But for many reasons I have never had it properly diagnosed.

The symptoms of SAD”include a number of the following:

Sleep problems: Usually desire to oversleep and difficulty staying awake but, in some cases, disturbed sleep and early morning wakening
Lethargy: Feeling of fatigue and inability to carry out normal routine
Overeating: Craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods, usually resulting in weight gain
Depression: Feelings of misery, guilt and loss of self-esteem, sometimes hopelessness and despair, sometimes apathy and loss of feelings
Social problems: Irritability and desire to avoid social contact
Anxiety: Tension and inability to tolerate stress
Loss of libido Decreased interest in sex and physical contact
Mood changes In some sufferers, extremes of mood and short periods of hypomania (overactivity) in spring and autumn.

   Everything in bold is currently a problem right now for me.   As my friends at work can probably vouch for especially on the uncontrolled mood swings, and tension.    And nothing sounds dumber to me than “why are you crying” bc I haven’t gotten enought light.. stupid stupid….  I think I need to look into getting a light box.   (attempt at light hearted ness) especially given I’m hiding in my room with the door locked eating a cookie wish the world would go away and leave me alone.    Obviously I have things that are stressing me out, and making me feel upset.    But this is rediculas……  I dont even know why I’m posting this except I’m trying to a good little poster….   had to explain it to everyone at work anyway .. (btw .. SAD totally sounds like it’s a made up thing … I hate that.. bc it already feels made up :P)  like people don’t think I’m crazy/dumb enough already…………  back to hiding… oh my god I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK… fun fun gonna force ti anyway (bc it worked out so wellt his morning … loaded with sarcasm there)  actaully I’m only going bc i feel trapped…. and that I have to……




3 responses

28 03 2006

aw, mag that sucks. please don’t feel like you are crazy and btw don’t pile it on more by worrying about what other people think about you (i know, next to impossible) i felt a lot of the same things when i still lived in smithers (and the town itself is depressing enough as it is!) but a few months after i moved to osoyoos where the weather is actually nice more than once in a while it seemed to ease up. still can’t have the blinds closed, tho, and still pretty bitchy when it’s not sunny…) i hope you can find a good doctor that can help you bc it really is way overwhelming to have those symptoms and being unable to control them (it really isn’t your fault, i hope you know that) i have a couple ways of dealing with the depression and anxiety that are more on the holistic side if you are interested. first things first, please get yourself diagnosed, and don’t worry, any doctor that is even a little bit professional will take you seriously. if you have to, take your list with you and wave it around until someone listens to you. lots of love, nadine p.s. have you given any more thought to that dream you were having?

28 03 2006

yeah .. I was thinking the same thing as you.. that it has something to do with feel in and out of control… lol. I know they are stress and anxiety related…. (doctors are stupid, which is tragically the main reason I haven;t been)…. funny thing is the situation that I am stressed over is not improving and I do not have control over it. But I do have control over how I deal.. maybe that’s what it’s about 😀 eh who cares…

But I’m going to go home tomorrow morning if I spaz again.. I can’t have a repeat of today…. for anyone who who knew about it … very reminicent of my ‘flip out’in uni.. so probably only Trace will really know what I’m talking about.. chuckle well and Guy ‘my chem proff’ .. but I don’t think he reads this 😉

29 03 2006

more hugs from me. Go tan. It made me feel 100% better when I was going through similar things. It is not made up. You are not crazy. And if you happen to have a flip out, well we will be here for you!

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